JUNE 3, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mayor LaGuardia Awards Wounded Policeman. Impact: When LaGuardia and Valentine honored Patrolman Astel, little did they know that this would inspire a future generation of politicians to awkwardly show up at hospitals, hoping for good PR instead of actually helping. The ripple effect? An increase in hospital selfies by politicians, which somehow leads to a reality TV show about their lives.. Fact: This event marked the beginning of the 'Politician Hospital Tour' trend, which later became an Olympic sport in 2024..
• Headline: New Air Mail Route Approved to Ottawa. Impact: The approval of the new air mail link sparked a fierce competition for the fastest delivery service, leading to the creation of drone races. Fast forward a few decades, and we have packages delivered by hyper-intelligent AI drones that complain about their job satisfaction.. Fact: The first air mail delivery was so slow that recipients would often forget what they ordered by the time it arrived. Talk about customer service!.
• Headline: Germany's Indefinite Trials of Monks. Impact: As Germany decided to prosecute monks, it inadvertently paved the way for an underground monk resistance movement, which led to the formation of a secret society dedicated to brewing the finest beers. This eventually contributed to the global beer culture we know and love today.. Fact: Monks are actually responsible for many of the world’s best beer recipes. So, if you enjoy a cold brew, perhaps raise a glass to those who were just trying to pray in peace..
• Headline: STRIKE, IN BEAUTY SHOPS; Bronx Hairdressers Call Walkout Against 6.0 Establishments. Impact: The Bronx hairdressers' strike led to a nationwide trend of salon workers fighting for their rights. This eventually inspired a popular musical that resulted in the first Broadway show entirely about hair-dos. Who knew hair could be so political?. Fact: The average person spends 1,000 hours of their life in a hair salon—mostly waiting for their dye to set. That’s a lot of time to contemplate life choices..
• Headline: HOFFMAN HAS EYE ON 'GOOD-WILL' JOB; Says 'Jersey Ambassador' Post Under Bill He Is Expected to Sign Appeals to Him. Impact: Governor Hoffman's interest in the 'Jersey Ambassador' job led to an influx of political figures vying for silly titles, resulting in a bizarre era where everyone was an ambassador of something—like the Ambassador of Sandwiches, which tragically still exists today.. Fact: The position of 'Jersey Ambassador' later inspired a reality show where contestants competed to prove their loyalty to the Garden State, featuring plenty of hair gel and over-the-top accents..
• Headline: WAGNER STAYS COLD TO MAYORALTY RACE; To Remain in Senate and Seek Re-election, as President Prefers, Friends Say. Impact: Wagner's decision to stay in the Senate instead of running for mayor caused a domino effect of indecisive politicians who preferred to keep their jobs rather than risk losing them. This led to a long tradition of political procrastination that continues to this day.. Fact: The phrase 'playing it safe' was actually coined in a Senate committee meeting after a particularly boring discussion on the benefits of doing absolutely nothing..
• Headline: Dr. Irving Busch Sails for Spain. Impact: Dr. Irving Busch's journey to Spain led to an accidental cultural exchange of surgical techniques that ultimately resulted in the invention of tapas-style surgeries, where patients receive small, bite-sized procedures instead of one large operation. Who says surgery can't be fun?. Fact: In Spain, surgeons now have to compete for the title of 'Best Tapas Surgery,' which means they must serve snacks during operations. Talk about multitasking!.
• Headline: Will. Address Bentley School. Impact: The Bentley School commencement plans inadvertently set off a chain reaction of overly elaborate graduation ceremonies, eventually leading to an entire industry dedicated to making sure no one leaves without a personalized balloon arch. It's a celebration apocalypse!. Fact: Commencement speeches are now so lengthy that they've been known to cause existential crises in attendees. Some have left only to find themselves at the nearest coffee shop, contemplating their life choices..
• Headline: DROPS CLAIM ON ESTATE; Former Entertainer Renounces Plea to Share in $5,000,000. Impact: The former entertainer dropping her claim on a $5 million estate led to a series of misunderstandings about finances in Hollywood, resulting in a new reality show called 'Keeping Up with the Claimants,' where everyone fights for their 'rightful' inheritance.. Fact: In Hollywood, it's not uncommon for people to drop claims just to get more airtime. It's basically the Kardashians' playbook for fame..