MAY 27, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Prof. Orton's Theological Insights. Impact: Years later, this new ship concept led to the creation of a floating theological debate club, ultimately spawning a reality show where seminary students argue over the meaning of life while paddling around in boats.. Fact: Communal sharing is great until someone tries to share the last slice of pizza—then it’s every theologian for themselves..
• Headline: Yeats Receives Gregory Medal for Poetry. Impact: Yeats’ 'butterfly existence' inspired a movement of poets who decided to live solely on nectar and metaphors, leading to a dramatic decline in the average poet's lifespan.. Fact: Yeats probably didn’t mean literally turning into a butterfly. That’s a whole different genre of poetry..
• Headline: BALLARD GRADUATES CLASS OF 77 TODAY; School of Y. W. C. A. to Award Secretarial, Food and Dress making Certificates. Impact: These graduates went on to become secretarial ninjas, mastering the art of multitasking and turning 'coffee runs' into Olympic-level events.. Fact: Certificates in food and dress making are handy until someone asks you to cook dinner and you set off a small kitchen fire..
• Headline: POWERS GET PLAN ON ALIENS IN SPAIN; Non-Intervention Body Asks Opinions on Move to Take Foreigners From Armies. Impact: This plan led to a complex diplomatic dance that resulted in the invention of the international 'Oops, my bad' apology letter, changing the way nations interacted forever.. Fact: Taking foreigners out of armies is great until you realize they were the ones with the snacks during meetings..
• Headline: DR. SEYMOUR IS HONORED; King's College Gives Fellowship to Yale's President-Elect. Impact: Dr. Seymour's fellowship sparked a renaissance of Yale presidents, each trying to outdo the last, eventually leading to the infamous 'Presidential Hair-Off'.. Fact: Honorary fellowships are much like participation trophies—everyone loves them, but nobody really knows what they mean..
• Headline: NEWS OF THE SCREEN; 3 Openings Today-Dick Merrill to Make 'Atlantic Flight' for Monogram-2 Films for Robert Donat. Impact: These film openings not only boosted the entertainment industry but also introduced the concept of 'blockbuster'—which later turned into a game of who can throw the most money at explosions.. Fact: If only making movies was as easy as signing contracts… just ask any actor who’s ever been in a sequel..
• Headline: YALE GIVES SCHOLARSHIPS; Awards Are Made From Kingsley and Garland Funds. Impact: The scholarships from Kingsley and Garland led to fierce competition among students, resulting in a secret society dedicated to outsmarting the funding board.. Fact: Scholarships are fantastic until you realize they don’t come with a lifetime supply of ramen noodles..