MAY 17, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Auto Chase Leads to Multiple Charges. Impact: The zig-zag pursuit of W. Burke led to the invention of the 'zig-zag driving technique' which later became a trend in Hollywood car chases, glorifying reckless driving and inspiring a generation of stunt drivers.. Fact: Zig-zagging is still a popular maneuver among teenagers trying to evade their parents' questions about their weekend..
• Headline: Tragic End of Musician III. Impact: The tragic death of the musician sparked an underground movement, birthing the genre of 'sadcore' music, which continues to dominate playlists of those who just want to cry in peace.. Fact: Oddly enough, hanging out with friends is still a more popular option than hanging oneself..
• Headline: ?ewelry Clerks Win Agreement. Impact: The jewelry clerks' agreement led to the establishment of the 'Retail Clerks Union' which later became a hotbed for organizing secret pizza parties during work hours.. Fact: It's estimated that 97% of all contracts signed in retail are just pizza delivery agreements..
• Headline: HARVEY SAYS REDS SWAY RULE OF CITY; Lays Gain of Communism Here to Lenience of Police and Control of 'Key' Jobs. Impact: Harvey's claims about the Reds led to a series of witch hunts for communists in local governments, resulting in the infamous 'Red Scare Bake Sale' where all proceeds went to fund dubious investigations.. Fact: Back in the day, the term 'Reds' referred more to a bad hair dye job than anything political..
• Headline: JANET LOUGHRAN'S PLANS; Hartsdale Girle Will Be Wed in June to Cadet W. R. Lawson. Impact: Janet Loughran's wedding plans became a blueprint for future wedding extravaganzas, leading to an explosion in Pinterest boards and the rise of the phrase 'Bridezilla' in the early 2000s.. Fact: Most wedding plans involve more spreadsheets than actual romance..
• Headline: GETS NEW RECTORSHIP. Impact: Rev. H. J. Knickle's new rectorship inspired a series of 'rector-themed' sitcoms that were tragically short-lived, with only one episode ever airing due to the overwhelming boredom it induced.. Fact: Most rectors have a secret stash of dad jokes they share only at church potlucks..
• Headline: Woman Loses $3,000 Jewels. Impact: Mrs. Thacher's loss of jewels sparked a rush in golf club security measures, which inadvertently led to the development of the first golf-themed heist film, 'Caddyshack: The Grift'.. Fact: Golf clubs are known for being more secure than most banks—unless you're Mrs. Thacher..
• Headline: WORLD RECORD UPSET IN FROG-JUMPING TEST; 'Emmett Dalton' of Will Rogers's Ranch Leaps 13 Feet 5 Inches in California. Impact: Emmett Dalton's frog-jumping record inspired a bizarre trend of frog racing worldwide, eventually leading to the creation of a competitive league, the 'Froglympics', which is still seeking Olympic recognition.. Fact: Frog jumping was once considered an Olympic sport until they realized frogs were far more talented than most athletes..