MAY 7, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Hay-Fever Convention Announced in 1937. Impact: The Hay-Fever Convention of 1937 was the catalyst for the eventual rise of antihistamines, leading to a world where sneezing is now synonymous with 'I have allergies, not a cold.' This revolutionized the pharmaceutical industry and inadvertently caused a surge in allergy-related excuses for skipping work, which continues to this day. Fact: Did you know that hay fever is actually a misnomer? No hay is involved, just a lot of sneezing and misery. It's like calling a pizza a salad because it has tomatoes!.
• Headline: Hindenburg Disaster Halts World Tour. Impact: The cancellation of the world tour due to the Hindenburg disaster meant that countless future musicians would not have the opportunity to wear ridiculous outfits on stage, leading to a more subdued fashion sense in concerts for decades. Thank you, Hindenburg!. Fact: The Hindenburg disaster was so infamous that even today, if your flight gets delayed, someone will inevitably say, 'At least it’s not the Hindenburg!' Yes, because that’s a very comforting comparison.
• Headline: Dramatic Hindenburg Survival Moment Captured. Impact: The dramatic survival of the Hindenburg jumper sparked the rise of daredevil stunts in cinema, which eventually led to the superhero movie craze. So, in a roundabout way, thank you jumping passenger for giving us all those superhero movies where no one actually jumps out of a burning airship. Fact: Jumping out of a burning airliner is not a recommended safety protocol. But hey, at least he got a movie deal out of it!.
• Headline: 3 Killed in Naples Air Mishap. Impact: The tragic air mishap in Naples led to stricter airline regulations, and thus, the evolution of the airline safety video. This means we now have to endure the same boring video every time we fly, with the added thrill of hoping we won't need it. Fact: Air travel accidents are so rare that they make winning the lottery look like a sure thing! But hey, keep buckling up because someone has to keep those statistics in check.
• Headline: WARNS 3 COLLEGES ON STUDENT RIOTS; Middlesex Official Sends Notes to Presidents of Harvard, M. I. T. and Tufts. Impact: Warnings about student riots led to the establishment of more robust campus security measures, making college campuses feel more like prisons and less like places of learning. 'Stay safe or else!' became the new motto. Fact: Harvard, MIT, and Tufts are known for their academic prowess, but who knew they needed a riot warning? Maybe they should just hand out pamphlets on conflict resolution instead.
• Headline: Named to W. & J. Paper Staff. Impact: The appointment to the W. & J. Paper Staff ensured that the Red and Black would continue to churn out mediocre content for unsuspecting students. Little did they know, this would set the stage for future editors to believe they were the next Hemingway. Fact: Being on the paper staff is often just a fancy way of saying, 'I have too much time on my hands and a penchant for making up stories!'.
• Headline: ASSEMBLY PASSES TWO MILK BILLS; Rogers - Allen Price - Making Proposal IS Amended to Affect Only Producers. Impact: The passing of the milk bills was the beginning of a long and ridiculous debate over dairy regulations, leading to the creation of lactose-free milk and ultimately, the rise of hipster coffee shops. Thank you, Assembly!. Fact: Milk has been the center of dietary debates for centuries. Who knew that a simple glass of milk could spark so much controversy? Next up: almond milk vs. oat milk—let the battles begin!.
• Headline: $500,000 Loss in Church Fire. Impact: The church fire that caused a $500,000 loss led many communities to rethink their fire safety protocols. This ripple effect ultimately resulted in more churches installing sprinklers, which became a hot topic in the architectural world. Because nothing says 'holy' like a good sprinkler system. Fact: Firefighters often say that the first rule of fire safety is to have a plan. Apparently, the second rule is to remember that God does indeed help those who help themselves—preferably with a good fire extinguisher.
• Headline: NOTABLES ABOARD; Merchants, Students and Professional Men on the Dirigible. Impact: The presence of notables aboard the dirigible during the Hindenburg disaster gave birth to the phrase 'celebrity tragedy', leading to more sensationalized news coverage of celebrities in peril. This laid the groundwork for today's tabloids. Fact: Being a notable on a doomed dirigible is not a recommended career move. But hey, at least they went down in history... literally!.
• Headline: Jersey Bankers Elect Shelley. Impact: The election of Shelley as the Jersey Bankers’ leader marked the beginning of a never-ending cycle of banker-related scandals, leading to the phrase 'banker’s trust' becoming an oxymoron in the eyes of the public. Thanks for that!. Fact: Bankers are often referred to as 'the real superheroes,' but only because they can make money disappear faster than a magician at a children’s party.