MAY 5, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Appropriation Bill Passed in 1937. Impact: This appropriation bill paved the way for a never-ending cycle of government spending. Think of it as the financial equivalent of a toddler with a credit card: it only gets worse from here.. Fact: If you ever feel like your budget is out of control, just remember that Congress has been doing this since before your grandparents were born!.
• Headline: Germany Opposes Civilian Bombing Ban. Impact: Germany's refusal to ban civilian bombings in Spain set a precedent for future conflicts where civilians would become collateral damage. It's like they were auditioning for a role in the 'Worst Decisions in History' documentary.. Fact: In related news, history is filled with countries making questionable choices. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn't end well..
• Headline: Drop in Canal Traffic Reports. Impact: The decline in canal traffic might have led to some poor soul starting a canal-themed podcast in a desperate attempt to revive interest. Spoiler: it didn't work.. Fact: Canals used to be the internet of their time—transporting goods faster than a tweet could spread rumors about your ex..
• Headline: BOND NOTES. Impact: Bond notes? Sounds like a great way for companies to ensure they’re always in debt. Future economists will refer to this as the 'Financial Black Hole' effect.. Fact: Bond markets are the only place where people can be excited about lending money and still end up crying over it later..
• Headline: WHALEN, IN PARIS, SEES END OF TRADE FEARS; Head of World's Fair Here Stresses Good-Will Promotion--Is Dinner Guest of Laurent. Impact: Whalen’s optimism about trade fears melting away probably inspired a wave of misplaced faith in international relations. Spoiler: the optimism didn't age well.. Fact: Goodwill is a lovely concept—until you realize it doesn't pay the bills or feed your cat..
• Headline: BASQUES SHUT TRAP ON FOES AT BERMEO; Dynamite Bridge, Isolating Rebels in Biscayan Town--Warships Rush Aid. Impact: The battle at Bermeo isolated the rebels and set off a chain reaction of conflict that would inspire future generations to write epic ballads about the futility of war. Or at least a really intense video game.. Fact: Dynamite bridges: because why not blow things up in the name of freedom? History is one explosive idea after another..
• Headline: Churchmen Oppose Court Plan. Impact: Church opposition to Roosevelt's court plan probably made him rethink the whole 'government by the people, for the people' thing. Let's just say, divine intervention was not on the agenda.. Fact: When church and state clash, it’s kind of like watching your parents argue over who gets the last piece of pizza—uncomfortable and messy..
• Headline: EPISCOPAL WOMEN CONFER ON MISSIONS; Service in Outlying Parts of World Held Gravest Problem at Diocesan Meeting. Impact: The Episcopal women's conference on missions probably led to an increase in global outreach efforts, which might explain why your neighborhood now has a 'mission' coffee shop on every corner.. Fact: They say charity begins at home, but it seems it can also travel internationally—preferably with a nice latte in hand..
• Headline: BRITAIN WILL KEEP TO POLICY ON GOLD; Chamberlain Assures Commons Government Will Continue Buying to Aid Currencies. Impact: Chamberlain's assurances to the Commons about gold policy were like a band-aid on a bullet wound. Future governments would continue to struggle, clutching their gold like a toddler with a security blanket.. Fact: Buying gold to aid currencies is kind of like putting a fresh coat of paint on a sinking ship. Looks nice, but it’s still going down..
• Headline: PULLMAN CAR WRITE-OFF; $7,050,675 on Wooden Rolling Stock Charged to Initial Surplus. Impact: The Pullman car write-off may have initiated a trend of companies treating their assets like a bad relationship—just write it off and pretend it never happened.. Fact: In corporate finance, sometimes the best way to deal with losses is to simply pretend they never existed. It’s called ‘creative accounting’!.