MAY 2, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Efforts to Save Minnesota Caribou. Impact: If the last four caribou had gone extinct, who knows? Perhaps climate change would have sped up by a decade because everyone was too busy crying over the caribou instead of focusing on real issues. Talk about a slippery slope.. Fact: Did you know caribou are known for their impressive migrations? Unlike humans, they actually have a sense of direction..
• Headline: Mystery of Guernica's Bombing Sights. Impact: This headline could be the start of an elaborate conspiracy theory about how the media was in cahoots with the insurgents to cover up the bombing. Imagine a world where the truth never gets out—oh wait, that's our world now.. Fact: Guernica would later become a symbol of the horrors of war, proving that ignoring the problem only makes it worse. Thanks, newsmen!.
• Headline: Banks Adjust to Higher Reserve Requirements. Impact: This headline foreshadows the eventual banking crisis. If only they had invested in something more stable, like Beanie Babies or cryptocurrency, they might have avoided a meltdown.. Fact: Did you know that banks are just like those friends who borrow money but never pay it back? Except they do it on a grander scale!.
• Headline: CLUBS' COURT VOTE ROUSES OKLAHOMA; State Democratic Committee, Meeting Monday, May Act on Women's Stand; SOUTHERN CRITIC BITTER; Federation President, Defending Action of Delegates, Says They Were Representative. Impact: This could lead to a historic chain reaction where women finally get a voice in politics—oh wait, it took them another century. Thanks for the head start, Oklahoma!. Fact: Fun fact: Oklahoma was the first state to allow women to vote in a primary election. Too bad it took the rest of the country a little longer to catch up..
• Headline: TRANSPACIFIC LINES FAIL TO RAISE RATE; Conference, Expected to Order a Substantial Rise, Lets Present Fares Stand; ZONE PROPOSAL FAVORED; Business Men at Customs Hear- ing Back Establishment in the San Francisco Area. Impact: By keeping fares low, this action might have inadvertently spurred a travel boom, leading to the rise of hipster travel bloggers. Thanks for the Insta-worthy vacation spots, everyone!. Fact: Did you know that the cheaper the fare, the more likely you are to sit next to a snorer on the plane? It's like a law of nature..
• Headline: A RADIO OPERA IS IN PROSPECT; Menotti Engaged to Write Production Designed For the Air. Impact: If this radio opera becomes a hit, it could pave the way for future groundbreaking audio entertainment, like ASMR or the podcasting craze. Who knew you could make a living by just talking to people?. Fact: Radio operas were like the Netflix of their time—except you had to use your imagination instead of just binge-watching on your couch..
• Headline: Miss Edith Colt Engaged to Horace Peters; Her Grandfather Was Rhode Island Senator. Impact: This engagement might just be the catalyst for a political dynasty, leading to future debates about whether it’s more important to be qualified or well-connected. Spoiler alert: it’s usually the latter.. Fact: Engagements were once a way to solidify alliances between powerful families. Today, it's more about who can throw the best Pinterest-worthy wedding..
• Headline: NOTABLE ANTIQUES IN A SETTING OF GRANDEUR; An Exceptional Collection, Which Is Soon to Be Broken Up, Goes on View This Week. Impact: Breaking up this collection may lead to the rise of antique hoarders, who will end up on reality TV shows, proving that history is just as dramatic as any soap opera.. Fact: Antiques hold secrets of the past. Some say they can even carry the spirits of their previous owners—just don't invite them to dinner!.
• Headline: FIGHT BILL TO SPEED RATING AS SEAMEN; Union Leaders Say Immediate Ship School Certificates Would Hurt Labor. Impact: This little squabble could result in a generation of underqualified seamen, leading to future disasters at sea. Thanks for the Titanic vibes, union leaders!. Fact: Seamen are known for their incredible skills at navigating the seas, but they also have a remarkable ability to avoid paperwork. It's a talent!.
• Headline: Missing Numismatist, 15, Found. Impact: The story of this missing teenager could lead to a newly heightened awareness of the importance of protecting young collectors, potentially sparking a movement for youth coin safety. Who knew coins could be so dangerous?. Fact: Numismatics is just a fancy word for coin collecting. So, if you ever feel like impressing someone, just drop that term in conversation!.