APRIL 27, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Griffith Protests Against Asset Auction. Impact: This auction sale was like a game of Monopoly gone wrong—one judge’s decision set a precedent that would cause future auctioneers to rethink their careers. Because who wouldn't want to spend their life selling off assets like a garage sale?. Fact: Fun fact: Judges are basically the referees of adult life. Just without the cool striped shirts and the whistle..
• Headline: BARS Rail Reorganization Court Decision. Impact: This ruling effectively put a halt to dreams of rail reorganization, ensuring that the trains would keep running on their outdated schedules. It's like a time capsule for inefficiency that would echo through generations of commuters.. Fact: Did you know that trains are often late because they’re busy arguing about who gets to be the 'express' and who has to be the 'local'? Ah, the drama of the rails!.
• Headline: GUILTY PLEA ENDS JOB FRAUD TRIAL; Plumber Got $800 on Pretense to Victims He Had 'Influence' on New York Times. Impact: The plumber's guilty plea sent shockwaves through the underground world of shady dealings. Future con artists learned that if you’re going to scam someone, at least pick a trade that doesn't involve fixing toilets.. Fact: Did you know that plumbers might be the only service providers who can charge you for fixing your mistakes and still have a steady flow of work? Talk about a lucrative gig!.
• Headline: 5,000 GREET MGR. DUBOSH; Dinner Held for Leader of Slovak Union, Back From Tour. Impact: Mgr. Dubosh's dinner marked a moment of unity that inspired future gatherings where everyone pretends to like each other over dry chicken and limp salads. This probably led to more awkward networking events in the future.. Fact: Did you know that the real reason for these dinners is to find out who can complain the loudest about the food? Spoiler alert: it’s always the guy who didn’t pay..
• Headline: CIRCUS PLAYS HOST TO IDEAL AUDIENCE; 14,000 Children From Welfare Institutions Are Guests at Special Morning Show. Impact: The circus performance for underprivileged children not only brought joy but also inspired future generations to believe that clowns and acrobats could solve their problems. Spoiler alert: they usually can’t.. Fact: Did you know that clowns have been scientifically proven to cause more confusion than joy? Just ask anyone who’s ever seen one at a birthday party..
• Headline: 18,000 POLICE SET FOR MAY DAY DUTY; Orders Issued by Valentine to Keep Entire Force on Post for 24 Hours. Impact: The police presence for May Day duty foreshadowed future parades where law enforcement would become more of a spectacle than the actual event. Who knew keeping people safe would lead to a parade of uniforms?. Fact: Did you know that May Day parades are basically the Olympics for cops? They train all year just to walk in a straight line!.
• Headline: PARKE DAVIS PLANT EVICTS SIT - DOWNS; 300 Are Forced Out of Detroit Factory After Turning Fire Hose on 250 Police. Impact: The eviction of sit-down strikers set a tone of resistance that would ripple through labor movements, teaching future workers that sometimes, you have to stand up to sit down. It’s all very ironic and deeply poetic.. Fact: Did you know that sit-down strikes often lead to more sitting than striking? It’s basically a union meeting that turned into a nap time..
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES; Quarantine. Impact: The publication of 'Quarantine' likely inspired a future generation of writers to explore the darker side of human nature and isolation, leading to an influx of novels where characters debate life choices over long spans of solitude. Thanks, pandemic!. Fact: Did you know that quarantine stories are basically the introverts’ version of a superhero saga? They thrive when the world shuts down!.