MARCH 27, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Roosevelt's Efforts to Save Statistical Board. Impact: If Roosevelt hadn't intervened, the Statistical Board would have vanished, leading to a world where statistics are considered 'just a suggestion.' Can you imagine a world where no one trusts numbers? Oh wait, we're living that now.. Fact: Fun fact: Without the Statistical Board, we might have never known that 73% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Just like this headline!.
• Headline: The Life and Impact of Charles C. Kolars. Impact: Charles C. Kolars' emergence as a name might have inspired a worldwide trend of people using initials instead of first names, leading to a future filled with confusing monikers and identity crises.. Fact: Did you know? If you say 'Chas C Kolars' three times fast, you might summon a hipster who'll insist on being called just by initials..
• Headline: Blind Sculptor Excels in Artistry. Impact: This remarkable achievement by a blind sculptor likely sparked an ongoing debate about the role of disability in arts, paving the way for future artists who defy limitations. Or, it just opened the door for people to say, 'Well, if he can do it, anyone can!'. Fact: Did you know? The phrase 'Seeing is believing' was definitely not coined in the context of this artist, who was probably too busy sculpting to care about clichés..
• Headline: SMALL FIRE IN CONVENT; Blaze in St. Catherine's Institution Put Out in 10 Minutes. Impact: The small fire at St. Catherine's could have led to a full-blown investigation into convent safety standards, resulting in a future where all religious institutions are fitted with state-of-the-art fire alarms. Or maybe just a few extra buckets of water.. Fact: Did you know? 'Small fire' is just a fancy way of saying 'today's gossip.' Convents have the best stories!.
• Headline: STATE ACT TO CURB PAY FRAUDS URGED; Legal Aid Society Sees Need for Check on 'Unscrupulous, Fly-by-Night' Employers. Impact: The Legal Aid Society's push for wage claim laws could have sparked a nationwide movement against unscrupulous employers, leading to a future where workers actually get paid for their labor. Shocking, I know!. Fact: Did you know? The term 'fly-by-night' was actually coined by a disgruntled employee who realized their paycheck was as mythical as a unicorn..
• Headline: Albany Bill Would Let Boys Learn Rifle Skill. Impact: Allowing boys to learn rifle skills could have led to an unexpected surge in hunting accidents and a future where the phrase 'Boys will be boys' is taken literally. Who knew marksmanship could be a rite of passage?. Fact: Did you know? This bill probably had more support than your average school lunch menu, which is saying a lot!.
• Headline: B. Isabel Boren Betrothed. Impact: B. Isabel Boren's betrothal might have set off a chain reaction of weddings, engagements, and awkward family reunions, causing an increase in the population of confused relatives asking, 'So, when's your turn?'.. Fact: Did you know? Betrothal announcements are just an ancient version of social media updates, but with less filter options..
• Headline: POLICE TO BURY CHILD; Raise Fund for Hit-Run Victim Whose Father Is on Relief. Impact: The police raising funds to bury a hit-and-run victim highlights the systemic issues of social support and could have sparked significant conversations about community responsibility and welfare—if only anyone was listening.. Fact: Did you know? This sad event is a reminder that sometimes, being a good neighbor is more about action than just borrowing sugar..