FEBRUARY 24, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Coatmakers Advocate Fair-Trade Expansion. Impact: The coatmakers' decision to widen their fair-trade activities inadvertently led to the rise of overly stylish yet overpriced coats, making it impossible for anyone to stay warm without looking like a walking fashion disaster. This set off a chain reaction where everyone began dressing like extras from a 1920s silent film, forever affecting fashion sense.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'fashion victim' was likely coined during this very meeting? Because, let’s face it, who needs to be warm when you can look fabulous?.
• Headline: FCC Estimates A. T. & T. Long Lines Profit. Impact: The estimated profit of $25,186,000 for A.T. & T. Long Lines paved the way for them to invest in increasingly bizarre customer service practices, culminating in the modern age where you can be put on hold while listening to a 30-minute loop of elevator music. Thanks, A.T. & T.!. Fact: Fun fact: That profit estimation was so optimistic that it makes the stock market predictions today look like a game of darts played by blindfolded monkeys..
• Headline: Union Pressmen Strike at Crowell Plant. Impact: The sit-down strike at Crowell Plant not only highlighted workers' rights but also sowed the seeds for the future generations of workers to realize that sitting down can actually be a form of protest. Who knew that taking a break could change history?. Fact: Did you know that 'sit-down strike' was just a fancy way of saying 'we're too tired to stand up'? Workers have always been experts in work-life balance..
• Headline: PLUNGES 13 STORIES, LIVES; Woman Is Found With a Note Pinned to Her Night Dress. Impact: The woman who fell 13 stories and survived became an urban legend, inspiring countless daredevils to attempt ridiculous stunts, leading to the creation of reality shows that glorify poor decision-making. Thanks for nothing!. Fact: Interestingly, her note stated, 'If I survive, I will definitely think twice before attempting this again.' Spoiler alert: she didn’t..
• Headline: Thurber Resigns at Redlands. Impact: Dr. C.H. Thurber's resignation set off a domino effect that led to the eventual reshuffling of university staff, resulting in countless future students being subject to less-than-competent professors. Higher education: just a game of musical chairs!. Fact: Did you know that resignations often cause more drama than reality TV shows? This one probably involved a lot of passive-aggressive emails..
• Headline: RARE BOOKS GIVEN HARVARD; Enelow Collection of 2,283 Hebrew Works Donated by L. N. Littauer. Impact: The donation of the Enelow Collection to Harvard not only enriched the university's library but also sparked a secret society of bibliophiles who now hoard rare books in their basements, plotting world domination through knowledge. Watch out, scholars!. Fact: Fun fact: Rare books are like potato chips; you can't have just one, and they often lead to a severe case of 'I need to buy another shelf.'.
• Headline: WINDSOR VISITS CASTLE; Rests at Muenster in South Autrian Village--Sees Kents Today. Impact: Windsor's castle visit inadvertently inspired future royal tours that would lead to a never-ending cycle of royal sightings, paparazzi chaos, and the birth of tabloid journalism. Thanks for the headache, Windsor!. Fact: Did you know that visiting a castle was once a way to escape responsibility? Now it’s just a photo op with a side of royal gossip..
• Headline: AUTO PARLEYS NEAR PACT ON SENIORITY; Final Points in This Issue Are Expected to Be Settled Today MORE STRIKES IN DETROIT Meanwhile Homer Martin Tells Legislators Union Has Won $50,000,000 Pay Increases Auto Output Increases Reports $50,000,000 Pay Rises. Impact: The auto parley on seniority and pay raises sparked a renaissance of labor negotiations that would last for decades, proving that when workers demand pay, the car industry has a tendency to roll over… and then raise prices. Thanks for the inflation!. Fact: Fun fact: The negotiations were so intense, they could have been mistaken for a high-stakes poker game — just with more unions and less bluffing..
• Headline: Rail Securities Offered. Impact: The rail securities offering was like throwing a pebble into a pond, creating ripples that would eventually lead to the intricate web of modern transportation systems. Who knew trains could be this influential?. Fact: Did you know that rail securities are just a fancy way of saying, 'We need more money to keep our trains from becoming glorified garden decorations'?.