FEBRUARY 11, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: France Sets Hotel Price Controls in 1937. Impact: By curbing hotel prices, France inadvertently set off a chain reaction that led to the first-ever 'budget traveler' movement. Years later, budget travelers would be found sleeping in the most obscure places—think under bridges, in parks, and even time machines!. Fact: Ah yes, nothing screams 'fair opening' like hotel prices that are still too high for the average tourist. But hey, at least they’ll be fair!.
• Headline: Potential Deportation of Levinson. Impact: If Levinson is deported, the leftist lawyer may have inspired a movement of lawyers who travel in disguise to help their clients. This would eventually lead to a secret society of lawyers known as the 'Cloak & Dagger Bar Association.'. Fact: In Brazil, the only thing more complicated than the legal system is the process of getting a decent cup of coffee. Just ask Levinson!.
• Headline: CATALONIA ORDERS NEW MOBILIZATION; Acts to Meet Rebel Threat After Barcelona Is Shelled From the Sea at Night. Impact: Catalonia’s mobilization was the spark that ignited a series of overly dramatic soap operas about rebellion, leading to a rise in both artistic expression and excessive melodrama across Europe. Now, every protest has its own soundtrack. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'shell shock' originated from this very event? Shells were literally flying, and people were just shocked about everything!.
• Headline: DEAN CLARK ARGUES PLAN FAILS OF NEEDS; Yale Law Leader Says Constitution's Fundamental Clauses Must Be Redefined. Impact: If Dean Clark’s argument had gained traction, we might have ended up with a constitution that required all laws to be written in rhymes. 'Shall not infringe upon the right to sing, unless it’s off-key and makes dogs fling!'. Fact: Yale Law: where the debates are as lively as the coffee is strong. Or is it the other way around?.
• Headline: SANDHOGS STOP STRIKE; Agree to Return to 6th Av. Subway Jobs Until Row Is Settled. Impact: The sandhogs’ decision to stop striking led to the construction of a subway that would eventually transport a time traveler to a future where everyone uses hoverboards. Thanks for the delay, sandhogs!. Fact: Fun fact: 'sandhog' is not a nickname for a particularly dirty pig, but rather a term for tunnel workers. Imagine the confusion!.
• Headline: PATTI PICKENS MARRIED; Singer Bride of Robert Simmons, Member of Quartet. Impact: Patti Pickens marrying Robert Simmons was the catalyst for the first-ever 'musical wedding' trend, leading to a future where every marriage proposal involves a flash mob and fireworks. Who knew romance could be so... choreographed?. Fact: Did you know that their wedding cake was shaped like a musical note? Talk about hitting the right note in matrimony!.
• Headline: BRITISH TURN EYES ON GERMAN ENVOY; Interest High in Meeting of Ribbentrop and Halifax in London Today. Impact: The British interest in the German envoy led to a secret dinner party where tea was spilled, quite literally, and the concept of passive-aggressive conversations was born. This eventually shaped diplomatic relations for centuries to come. Fact: The real reason they were receiving air-raid instructions? To prepare for the chaos that ensued when tea was served too cold!.
• Headline: CUBAN OPPOSITION UNITES; 45 Members of House of Representatives to Fight Army Rule. Impact: The unity of the Cuban opposition foreshadowed a future where political coalitions would be formed based on who could bake the best pastries. Thanks to this, the term 'bread and butter politics' took on a whole new meaning. Fact: Word has it that they held meetings in the back of a bakery. Because who can resist a good pastry while plotting politics?.
• Headline: ACTS TO END AIR MENACE; City Seeks Court Aid to Raze Chimney at Bennett Field. Impact: The city's decision to raze the chimney marked the beginning of an era in which urban aesthetics became a priority over public safety, leading to the invention of the 'Chimney-Free City' concept in 2090. Spoiler: it didn’t go well. Fact: Removing a chimney might have seemed like a good idea, but it’s also how we lost the world's greatest chimney sweep competition. Thanks, New York!.