JANUARY 31, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Managua Bank's New Lending Initiative. Impact: This banking change had a ripple effect that eventually led to farmers using their loans to grow organic kale, which in turn sparked a nationwide obsession with green smoothies. Thanks, Managua!. Fact: Before this moment, most banks were as likely to lend to farmers as they were to lend to unicorns..
• Headline: Radek's Testimony in Trotskyist Trials. Impact: Radek's capture set off a chain reaction of political intrigue that culminated in an alphabet soup of radical factions, ultimately leading to the modern-day conspiracy theories that keep internet forums buzzing.. Fact: Trotskyists are still trying to figure out which conspiracy theory is the most compelling—it's like a never-ending game of chess, but with more mustaches..
• Headline: ECONOMIES HELPED SALE; Financing Adjustments Improved Broadway-Continental Building. Impact: The improved sale of buildings led to the great Broadway-Continental rivalry, which eventually inspired a blockbuster musical about real estate drama. Spoiler: it flopped.. Fact: Real estate jargon is just a fancy way to say, 'We have a lot of empty space you can pay too much for.'.
• Headline: HERBS LEND THEIR ZEST TO AMERICA'S CUISINE; In Growing Vanety They Heighten the Flavor of The Dull Dish and Add Piquancy to Dining The Dull Dish and Add Piquancy to Dining. Impact: The herb craze kicked off a culinary revolution, turning average cooks into self-proclaimed 'gourmet chefs' and leading to the rise of Instagram food photography that makes even a salad look like art.. Fact: Before herbs, America’s cuisine was mostly just meat and potatoes—talk about a dull dish!.
• Headline: Three Killed in Crash in Ohio. Impact: This tragic crash led to stricter safety regulations, which ultimately contributed to the development of modern seatbelt laws. Sometimes tragedy sparks progress, albeit in the most painful way.. Fact: Car accidents were originally seen as a rite of passage in Ohio—thankfully, they learned that ‘survival of the fittest’ doesn’t apply to driving..
• Headline: Landon to Be Guest Here. Impact: Landon attending the dinner became a pivotal moment that solidified the Republican elite's obsession with nostalgic figures, leading to the infamous 'Lincoln re-enactment' parties of the 1980s.. Fact: The National Republican Club once considered a dinner with a hologram of Lincoln—because why not make it weird?.
• Headline: $874,000 GOLD ENGAGED; $503,000 of Metal Arrives From England--Franc, Pound Steady. Impact: The gold shipment from England established a new trend of international gold hoarding, which left future generations in a mad rush for shiny rocks—thanks for the inflation, history!. Fact: Gold has been a favorite investment since the dawn of time, just ahead of real estate and Beanie Babies..
• Headline: JAPAN NOW FACES A TEST AT HOME; Sooner or Later She Must Determine Whether Her Rule is to Be Civil or Military, Constitutional or Fascist JAPAN NOW FACES A TEST AT HOME. Impact: Japan's internal test led to decades of cultural confusion, where people debated whether to embrace sushi or hamburgers. It also paved the way for anime to globally dominate in the 21st century.. Fact: Japan has an entire genre of anime dedicated to the struggles of bureaucracy—because who doesn't love a good paper-pushing drama?.
• Headline: EXHIBIT HONORS M'GUFFEY; Wesleyan Library Show His Books and Other Ear'v Readers. Impact: The exhibit honoring McGuffey sparked a nationwide revival of classic education methods, leading to a trend where hipsters started reading books by candlelight in coffee shops.. Fact: McGuffey readers were so influential that they could've probably run for president and won—at least against a textbook..