JANUARY 18, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Robert D. Carey Passes Away in Cheyenne. Impact: Robert D. Carey’s untimely demise caused a sudden vacuum in Wyoming politics, leading to a chain of events where a series of questionable decisions were made by his successors, resulting in a state where cowboys became the primary advisors to the governor. Who knew rodeos could influence legislation?. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more sudden than Carey's death was the realization that Wyoming's political landscape would soon be influenced by an influx of cowboy poetry?.
• Headline: Authors' Matinee Fundraiser Event. Impact: The Authors' Matinee sparked a movement among aging artists, unintentionally leading to the founding of a 'Home for Aging and Needy Artists Who Can't Stop Writing Bad Poetry'. This home has since become a haven for unsolicited manuscripts. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more needy than aging artists is their endless supply of unsolicited advice on how to write a bestseller.
• Headline: Intense Chess Match in Stockholm. Impact: The outcome of this long chess game introduced a new level of tension in chess tournaments, leading to future grandmasters developing heart palpitations over bad middle games. Chess players everywhere began wearing 'I survived the Sundberg-Bergqvist match' shirts. Fact: Did you know the longest chess game in history lasted 269 moves? Clearly, some people have too much time on their hands. Or chess pieces.
• Headline: BOLESLAWSKI DIES; FILM DIRECTOR, 47; Made Such Popular Pictures as 'Rasputin,' 'Garden of Allah' and 'Clive.' HAD SUCCESSES ON STAGE Came Here After Career in Army and With Moscow Art Theatre--Also Wrote Two Novels. Came to Hollywood in 19299 Published First Novel. Impact: Boleslawski's death left Hollywood bereft of a visionary, leading to a series of unfortunate remakes that would haunt cinema for decades. If only he had known that his works would be turned into insufferable sequels!. Fact: Ironically, Boleslawski's most famous works are now more popular in the form of memes than the actual films. Who knew Rasputin could become a meme?.
• Headline: PRO TITLE TO SKILLMAN; Defeats Pope in National Squash Racquets Final.. Impact: Skillman's squash victory inspired a new fitness craze, where people started squashing things in their lives—like their dreams of becoming athletes. The phrase 'squash it' became a motivational mantra for the hopeless. Fact: Did you know that squash is the only sport where you can sweat profusely while simultaneously questioning your life choices and regretting your decisions?.
• Headline: SLEEPY HOLLOW. Impact: Ed's efforts to end the spoils system led to an era where political favors were replaced by awkward social media shout-outs. Now, instead of handing out jobs, politicians just retweet their friends' businesses. Fact: Spoils systems were once the political equivalent of giving your friend a job just because he helped you move. Spoiler alert: It rarely ends well.
• Headline: Smith--Andrew. Impact: Andrew's presence in the news didn’t change much, but it did eventually lead to the creation of a long-lost family tree that nobody asked for. Thanks, Andrew, for dragging us all into your family drama!. Fact: Did you know that genealogical research has become the new reality show where everyone pretends to care about their 15th cousin's dog?.
• Headline: TROTH IS ANNOUNCED OF ELSIE W. TINDALL; Maryland Girl Is Affianced to Frank Rawlings--She Is Student of Fine Arts.. Impact: The engagement of Elsie W. Tindall heralded a new era of fine arts students realizing that love is more complicated than art. Many found themselves torn between passion and the need to finish their thesis. Fact: Engagements between art students are often more dramatic than the art itself. Who needs a gallery when you have a soap opera?.
• Headline: OF ONE MOTHER' GIVEN; Play at National Is Revision One by Samuel H. Cohen.. Impact: Samuel H. Cohen’s revision of 'Of One Mother' led to a resurgence of 'revised' plays, which caused a chain reaction of playwrights rewriting their works in increasingly absurd ways, culminating in a bizarre trend of Shakespearean rap battles. Fact: Did you know that modern playwrights have taken the term 'revision' to mean 'let's completely rewrite this and hope nobody notices'?.
• Headline: MASTERPIECE ACQUIRED BY CONNECTICUT ART MUSEUM. Impact: The acquisition of this masterpiece by the Connecticut Art Museum prompted a frenzy of amateur art critics declaring their living rooms as galleries. This eventually led to an uptick in people trying to sell their children's finger paintings at exorbitant prices. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'art is subjective' was originally coined by parents who couldn't bear to tell their kids that their drawings were, well, not exactly masterpieces?.