JANUARY 9, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Honoring D Mannes at Art Museum Concert. Impact: This seemingly innocuous concert led to an explosion of cultural appreciation, inspiring generations to leave their mundane desk jobs for the glamorous world of conducting, resulting in a severe shortage of office workers in the 21st century. Who would've thought a scroll would change the course of employment history?. Fact: Did you know that conducting music is the only profession where you can wave your arms like you're swatting flies and still be revered as a genius? Bravo, Mannes!.
• Headline: Frances A. Wister Receives Gimbel Award. Impact: The ripple effect of this tea party honor led to a nationwide obsession with afternoon teas, resulting in an entire generation of Americans who now believe they can solve world problems over scones and Earl Grey.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more prestigious than a Gimbel Award is the ability to calmly sip tea while discussing the weather. Truly a skill!.
• Headline: Motor Boat Show Preview at Grand Central. Impact: The overwhelming optimism at this boat show sparked a national trend of unrealistic expectations, leading to the Great Inflated Hopes Crisis of 1937, where everyone believed they could float through life on a yacht.. Fact: Pro tip: If you ever feel down, just remember that thousands of people once crammed into a space to look at boats. That should really put things into perspective, right?.
• Headline: Schaffner--Wefferling. Impact: The union of these two names inspired countless future combinations of odd surnames, leading to the rise of hyphenated last names that would confuse generations of school teachers.. Fact: Schaffner and Wefferling: the original power couple, paving the way for your friend’s overly complicated marriage certificate!.
• Headline: Miscellaneous Taxes Were 49% Of All National Revenue in 1936; Increased From 43% in Fiscal Year 1935, Says Treasury's Report--Income Taxes Brought in 35%--Tobacco and Liquor Are Expected to Yield 1,100 Million This Year.. Impact: This alarming tax statistic directly led to the development of more creative tax evasion strategies, including the infamous 'I lost my receipt' maneuver that still haunts accountants today.. Fact: Did you know that 'miscellaneous taxes' is just a fancy way of saying 'we're taking your money for reasons we won't explain'? Classic government move!.
• Headline: MRS. ROGERS APPEALS; Protests Adverse Ruling in Suit to Void Oil Man's Will.. Impact: This legal battle set a precedent for future disputes over wills, leading to the infamous 'Will Wars' of the 21st century, where families fight over estates like it’s a reality TV show.. Fact: The only thing more complicated than an oil man's will is trying to explain it to your family during Thanksgiving dinner. Good luck, Mrs. Rogers!.
• Headline: Horst--Holmberg. Impact: The merger of these two names caused a ripple effect of confusion at family reunions for decades, with descendants constantly misplacing their branches on the family tree.. Fact: Horst and Holmberg: the names that could either be a law firm or a quirky Scandinavian bakery. You decide!.
• Headline: Wheeler--Wilson. Impact: The unremarkable joining of these two names led to a series of mundane business partnerships, inspiring future generations to believe that even the most boring combinations can lead to something... well, still boring.. Fact: Wheeler and Wilson: the classic duo that sounds like they run a very unexciting insurance company. Spoiler alert: they probably do!.
• Headline: PLANES COLLIDE ON FIELD; Flier Hurt, Two Shaken Up in Bennett Airport Accident.. Impact: This tragic incident led to an immediate spike in safety regulations, eventually paving the way for the modern aviation industry, where we now take our shoes off for security but still get to sit next to that guy with the questionable cologne.. Fact: Accidents like this remind us that flying is still safer than driving to work, though it doesn’t feel that way when you’re stuck in turbulence next to a screaming toddler..