JANUARY 8, 1937

Full News Archive

• Headline: Opera Broadcasts Reach South America. Impact: This opera broadcast set off a chain reaction that led to the creation of countless karaoke bars worldwide. If only they had known that people would one day belt out these arias in their living rooms.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing worse than hearing someone sing opera badly is hearing them do it with a mouthful of pizza? Welcome to the future!.
• Headline: Dr. Frank Ousted by State Regents. Impact: Dr. Frank's ousting turned university politics into a blood sport, leading to the rise of political science majors who think they can fix the world with a PowerPoint presentation.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'fascist dictator' was actually a secret code among academic circles for 'I didn't get my way'?.
• Headline: Vienna Boy Choir Tours the U.S.. Impact: The Vienna Boy Choir's tour sparked a global phenomenon of youth choirs, eventually leading to countless parents regretting their decision to sign their kids up for singing lessons.. Fact: Did you know that the Vienna Boy Choir has been around so long that some of their original members are probably still performing—if only in spirit?.
• Headline: 5 HOLD UP MEAT SHOP; Herd 3 Victims Into Refrigerator and Steal $700... Impact: The meat shop heist led to the rise of security systems in local businesses, resulting in the modern-age equivalent of a bank vault for your bologna.. Fact: Did you know that being locked in a refrigerator isn't just a crime; it's also a great way to lose weight? Just kidding, don't try that at home!.
• Headline: MISS EUNICE R. ALLAN ENGAGED TO MARRY; Montclair, N. J., Girl Will Become Bride of D. G. Quigley--Bradford raduate.. Impact: Eunice's engagement to Quigley sent shockwaves through the local matchmaking scene, resulting in a spike in 'how to propose' tutorials on YouTube.. Fact: Did you know that every engagement story has at least one awkward moment? In this case, it was probably the moment he realized he had to remember her birthday..
• Headline: GEN. ABEL DAVIS OF CHICAGO DEAD; President of Title and Trust Company World War Leader of Illinois Troop.. Impact: General Abel Davis's death marked the end of an era, leading to countless historical reenactments that have yet to accurately portray the chaos of war.. Fact: Did you know that generals often get remembered more for their epic mustaches than their actual contributions? Davis was no exception!.
• Headline: AMERICAN WOMAN AIDS CHINESE RISING; Agnes Smedley, Author, Takes Leading Role as 250,000 Men Plot Northwest Red Regime.. Impact: Agnes Smedley's involvement in aiding a Chinese rising led to the complex web of international relations that now has us debating the correct usage of chopsticks in diplomatic circles.. Fact: Did you know that international diplomacy once nearly derailed over a sushi order? Who knew pickled ginger could be so contentious?.
• Headline: BRITISH FILM LOSS PUT AT [pound]2,000,000; Industry Facing a Grave Crisis--Exhibitors' Paper Reports 'Bubble Has Burst.'. Impact: The British film industry's financial woes resulted in the rise of indie films, where the budget is so low, even the popcorn is free.. Fact: Did you know that in the film industry, a 'bubble bursting' is just code for 'we're about to see a whole lot of terrible sequels'?.