NOVEMBER 23, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: French Destroyer Valmy Arrives in Barcelona. Impact: Had the Valmy not replaced the Albatross, it’s possible the French Navy would have become known for its bird-themed ships, causing a renaissance in avian naval architecture.. Fact: The Valmy is a destroyer, which sounds intimidating until you realize it’s just a fancy boat with a French accent..
• Headline: Reports on Courses for Adults. Impact: If adults had taken more courses back then, we might have had a society filled with well-rounded individuals instead of today's 'I learned everything from TikTok' generation.. Fact: Adult education: because someone has to teach you that 'buying the latest iPhone' isn't a career choice..
• Headline: N.H. Swayne to Be Speaker. Impact: This lecture series could have inspired a wave of civic engagement, or at least a few more people to complain about taxes on Twitter.. Fact: Being a speaker doesn’t mean you actually know what you’re talking about—it just means you have a microphone..
• Headline: French Powder Shipment Disappears Near Spain. Impact: The mysterious disappearance of the powder could have sparked a subculture of 'Where's Waldo?' style treasure hunts, generating a new tourism industry in France.. Fact: If only they had GPS back then; the freight car might have just been stuck in traffic on the way to a very explosive party..
• Headline: RUMANIA FORBIDS NAZI BORDER VISITS; Finds 'Students' Propagandize in Maramures Area, Vital Region Near Russia. CZECHOSLOVAKIA ACTS,TOO Bars Trips on Her Side of Frontier to District Through Which Soviet Aid in War Would Go.. Impact: By forbidding Nazi visits, Romania may have delayed the inevitable onslaught of spies, saving a few local coffee shops from having to deal with suspiciously well-dressed tourists.. Fact: What’s more terrifying than a Nazi? A Nazi with a travel itinerary. Thanks, Romania, for keeping the coffee shops safe!.
• Headline: MEMORIAL MASS IS SAID; Chaplain Is Celebrant at Services of the 165th Regiment.. Impact: Memorials like this one might have inspired a national trend in commemorating everything—imagine a 'National Day of Remembering Socks Left in the Dryer.'. Fact: Memorial masses are a great way to remember those we've lost, though they rarely include the number of times they forgot to take out the trash..
• Headline: Loyalists Hold Off Foe. Impact: If the Loyalists had faltered, the outcome of the conflict could have led to an alternate timeline where cats ruled the world instead of dogs, based solely on their superior tactical naps.. Fact: In a building full of refugees, one would think the biggest threat would be the building's Wi-Fi speed..
• Headline: ANNAPOLIS SEEKS BITS OF PERRY'S FLAGSHIP; Hopes to Find Relics With Which to Build Frame for 'Don't Give Up the Ship' Flag.. Impact: Had the Naval Academy found Perry's relics, it could have sparked a fashion trend for naval officers, leading to the most stylish fleet in history—think 'Pirates of the Caribbean' meets 'GQ.'. Fact: The phrase 'Don't Give Up the Ship' has inspired countless memes, proving that even history has a sense of humor..