NOVEMBER 20, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Italy's Bold Stance Against Soviet Influence. Impact: If Italy hadn't been so defiant, perhaps the Italian cuisine would have been more universally loved by now instead of being associated with a long history of conflict and bad coffee.. Fact: Fascist Grand Councils weren't known for their brunch meetings. They were more about grandstanding and less about grandmothers' recipes..
• Headline: Article 9: Bonus Allocation in 1936. Impact: This 'Article 9' could lead to a future where bonuses are handed out like candy at a parade, fueling a global sugar rush of dissatisfaction in workplaces.. Fact: Bonuses are just a fancy way of saying, 'Here, we owe you this, but don’t spend it all in one place.'.
• Headline: Books of the Times Discussion. Impact: Newton's bibliography might have inspired a generation of scholars to write endless footnotes, thus leading to the world's most boring academic conferences.. Fact: Bibliographies are the academic equivalent of a 'read more' link; nobody actually clicks it..
• Headline: PLANES, TANKS SENT TO NORTH BY CHINA; Central Government Also Has 50,000 Crack Troops Ready to Repel Suiyuan Invasion. JAPANESE AID ASSAILED Nanking Asks Tokyo to End All Support of the Mongols -- Chinese Report a Victory.. Impact: China's military actions were a precursor to the modern-day arms race. Who knew that sending planes and tanks would lead to a world where we all enjoy endless remakes of war movies?. Fact: The phrase 'crack troops' sounds way more exciting than it actually is—just a bunch of soldiers trying to keep their coffee cups full amidst chaos..
• Headline: $1,750,000 Increase Granted. Impact: This wage increase might have marked the beginning of a never-ending cycle of employees demanding raises and bosses rolling their eyes, leading to the modern workplace drama we all love.. Fact: A wage increase is like putting a Band-Aid on a leaky boat; it might help for a minute, but the water’s still coming in..
• Headline: Sullivan Law Charge Dropped. Impact: The dropping of the Sullivan Law charge probably had a ripple effect, making it easier for people to think they could get away with anything. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: The Sullivan Law was less about law and order and more about 'who can we throw under the bus today?'.
• Headline: Secretary Hull's Address in Brazil. Impact: Secretary Hull’s address in Brazil may have paved the way for future diplomatic dinners where everyone pretends to enjoy the food while actually plotting their next move.. Fact: Diplomatic dinners are just fancy networking events with fewer appetizers and more passive-aggressive small talk..
• Headline: NEW TRIAL FOR NORRIS; Senator's Namesake Wins Reversal of Perjury Conviction.. Impact: The reversal of Norris's perjury conviction started a trend where every time someone was caught lying, they just asked for a new trial, leading to lawyers becoming the new rock stars.. Fact: Perjury: the only crime where you can talk your way out of more punishment—what a time to be alive!.
• Headline: BIG SISTERS NEED $50,000; Mrs. C.D. Gibson Asks Aid for Groups of Three Faiths.. Impact: Big Sisters needing money might have catalyzed the rise of fundraising as a full-time job, giving people a reason to wear uncomfortable shoes at charity events for decades to come.. Fact: Fundraising is just another way of saying, 'We’ll guilt you into giving us money for something that sounds nice.'.