NOVEMBER 13, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brazil Welcomes Roosevelt to Rio. Impact: If Roosevelt had taken that offer, perhaps the 20th century would have been shaped by 'Teddy in the Tropics' memes instead of 'FDR in a Wheelchair' ones, leading to a rise in tropical-themed politics.. Fact: Roosevelt never visited Brazil, but can you imagine him sipping a caipirinha while discussing the New Deal? Talk about a vacation from reality!.
• Headline: Record Auto Sales in New York City. Impact: The brisk auto sales might have led to the invention of the 'rush hour' as we know it today, resulting in a global obsession with sitting in traffic while listening to podcasts.. Fact: In 1935, people thought the only thing 'brisk' was the weather, not car sales. Guess we’ve come a long way from 'horsepower' to 'actual horsepower!'.
• Headline: German's 'Spy Monocle' Wins Speedy Popularity. Impact: The popularity of the 'Spy Monocle' might have inspired a new fashion trend among espionage enthusiasts, leading to a decade where everyone in Berlin sported one, making it the 'must-have' accessory for secret agents.. Fact: Apparently, the spy monocle was the original 'smart' eyewear. Who knew that all you needed to be a secret agent was a fancy lens and a questionable mustache?.
• Headline: BANK RULE IS MODIFIED; But FDIC Advertising Must Appear Where Deposits Are Received.. Impact: This modification could have led to a world where advertising for banks became more transparent, resulting in a bizarre future where banks actually had to compete by being honest. Yikes!. Fact: The FDIC’s motto could easily be 'Trust us, we’re insured!' But good luck explaining that to someone who just lost their life savings..
• Headline: Gas Attack Is Charged to Madrid Forces; Rebels Had Masks, Says Official Witness. Impact: The use of poison gas in this conflict might have sparked a global debate on chemical warfare, leading to a long series of regulations that would fill up entire libraries of literature, but still leave people wondering if 'gas masks' are the new fashion statement.. Fact: Gas attacks are so tragic and horrific that they make wearing a face mask in public during a pandemic seem like a walk in the park. Just saying..
• Headline: An Innovation. Impact: The exhibition of watercolors could have led to a renaissance of watercolor art, sparking a new generation of artists who refuse to paint anything but serene landscapes and adorable cats.. Fact: Watercolors: the only medium that turns every artist into a wannabe Monet. Spoiler alert: It’s not as easy as it looks!.
• Headline: Hunter Picks 15 for Who's Who. Impact: The selection for 'Who's Who' among students could have triggered a competition to see who could get their name in the list the most times, leading to a generation of overachievers and possibly a few nervous breakdowns.. Fact: 'Who's Who' was basically the original social media, where you could brag about your accomplishments without actually having to post a selfie. How quaint!.
• Headline: ALLEGHANY CORP. BUYS MORE STOCK; 1,500 Additional Shares of Chesapeake Corporation Acquired for $144,837. 6,900 RECENTLY BOUGHT $805,837 for Deals Was Released From Impounded Funds -- Stock Used in Collateral.. Impact: Alleghany Corp's stock purchases might have inadvertently set off a chain reaction in the stock market, leading to a future where people play the stock market like it's a game of Monopoly with increasingly ridiculous consequences.. Fact: The Chesapeake Corporation’s shares might have become the hottest commodity since sliced bread, which ironically isn’t even traded on the stock market. Yet..
• Headline: Rumanians Stage Protest. Impact: The anti-revisionist protest in Rumania could have sparked a wave of similar movements across Europe, leading to a bizarre decade where everyone was protesting something, making it the 'Protest Era' where signs became the fashion statement.. Fact: Protests: the original social gatherings where instead of brunch and mimosas, people held signs and shouted slogans. Much healthier, right?.