NOVEMBER 4, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Smith's Election Night Commentary. Impact: If A.E. Smith had just tweeted his comments instead of planning them, it might have triggered a social media revolution a century early, leading to today’s world of influencers who think they’re political experts.. Fact: Did you know that A.E. Smith probably thought planning comments was the peak of political engagement? Spoiler: it wasn’t..
• Headline: Turkey Awakes to Vote. Impact: The 'Turkey Awakes to Vote' event sparked a nationwide trend of animals participating in elections. This eventually led to the establishment of the Animal Voting Rights Act of 2040, where cats famously voted for 'more naps'.. Fact: Fun fact: In some circles, this event is considered the day democracy officially got silly..
• Headline: Merritt's Re-Election and Fair Support. Impact: Merritt's rise to political fame inspired countless aspiring politicians, but also an entire generation of New Yorkers who believed they could achieve greatness by simply attending a World's Fair.. Fact: Did you know that attending a World's Fair is still the go-to excuse for not having a real job? Thanks, Merritt!.
• Headline: LANDON VICTORY CAKE IS IGNORED IN TOPEKA; Uncut on Governor's Sideboard -- Mrs. Landon's Eyes Misty as Result Goes Adversely.. Impact: The Landon Victory Cake incident led to a wave of political baked goods, culminating in the infamous 'Pie-in-the-Face' protest of 2025, where voters expressed their discontent through confectionery means.. Fact: Did you know that in politics, cake can be a symbol of failure? Just ask Mrs. Landon..
• Headline: Husband's Love 'Spectacular'. Impact: This divorce case led to the popularization of glasses as a fashion statement, thus preventing countless people from squinting at their screens today—thank you, Mr. Spectacular!. Fact: Did you know that insisting on glasses became a sign of true love? Just kidding, it’s a sign of bad eyesight..
• Headline: Dog Has Educational Urge. Impact: This dog’s educational pursuits inspired a new movement where pets were allowed to attend schools, leading to the first-ever canine graduation ceremony in 2025 where dogs received degrees in 'Barking Arts'.. Fact: Fun fact: That dog likely learned more than some actual students. But hey, grades are just a bark away!.
• Headline: Coniferous Trees Vary on Coast. Impact: The study of coniferous trees led to a bizarre cult in the 1970s that believed hugging trees could communicate with nature, thus ushering in the age of eco-friendly yoga retreats.. Fact: Did you know that coniferous trees have been known to be the silent observers of all human folly? They have quite the gossip circle!.
• Headline: HOSIERY SHIPMENTS RISE; Gains Reported for September and Nine Months by Trade Group.. Impact: The rise in hosiery shipments was a significant moment that paved the way for the infamous 'Stocking Scandal' of 2045, where politicians were caught wearing mismatched socks to hide their true colors.. Fact: Did you know that hosiery is the unsung hero of political campaigns? Because nothing says 'vote for me' like a good pair of stockings!.
• Headline: MAYOR TOURS CITY IN DAWN CHECK-UP; He Scowls in Police Stations Where Captains Are Absent, but Beams at Others.. Impact: The mayor's scowling tour became a blueprint for future political photo ops, leading to the now standard practice of politicians smiling through gritted teeth during public appearances.. Fact: Did you know that 'scowling' is just a fancy word for 'I can’t believe I’m doing this again'? Welcome to politics!.
• Headline: CAMPAIGN OUTLAYS PILE UP IN REPORTS; Labor League Aiding Roosevelt Shows $172,601 Received and $156,240 Spent.. Impact: The campaign outlays report initiated a long-standing tradition of politicians treating campaign funds like Monopoly money, resulting in the fiscal crisis of 2030 when no one could find the 'Get Out of Debt' card.. Fact: Did you know that campaign spending is really just an elaborate game of financial hide-and-seek? Spoiler: most politicians never seek!.