OCTOBER 16, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: 72nd Street Work Celebrated with Luncheon. Impact: The widening of 72nd Street led to increased traffic, which ultimately resulted in the invention of the personal navigation device. If only they knew how many lives would be lost to bad directions and distracted driving.. Fact: The West of Central Park Association's luncheons were so exclusive that even the pigeons had to RSVP..
• Headline: Roosevelt Calls for Wage Increases. Impact: Roosevelt's call for wage increases set off a chain reaction that eventually turned into the 'Great American Side Hustle' era, where everyone tried to sell their mom's banana bread to make ends meet.. Fact: In the 1930s, 'doing far more than they have done' was just code for 'please give me a raise before I start selling lemonade on the corner.'.
• Headline: Judicial Recommendations by Citizens Union. Impact: The endorsement of judges by the Citizens Union resulted in a long chain of political favors, leading to the establishment of 'Judge's Choice Awards,' where judges are now judged on their judging abilities. Irony, anyone?. Fact: The Citizens Union once endorsed a cat for mayor. It had better approval ratings than some actual candidates..
• Headline: CALLS ROOSEVELT TO BARE WAGE AIM; Knox Demands to Know if the President Plans a Federal Law to Order Increases. RECALLS EARLE 'PROMISE' Republican, at St. Louis, Also Insists That Roosevelt Reveal Intentions-Toward Courts.. Impact: Knox's demands pushed Roosevelt to clarify wage policies, which led to the famous 'If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge responsibility' quote that has haunted politicians ever since.. Fact: Col. Knox was known for his impeccable timing, often demanding answers right after everyone else had given up hope..
• Headline: DISTILLERS-SEAGRAMS PLANS ISSUE OF STOCK; Files With SEC on New Preferred -- Doubles Board of Directors.. Impact: Seagram's stock issue doubled the board of directors, leading to a surge in boardroom meetings that could probably be classified as a new form of modern art – 'The Confusion of Corporate Decision-Making.'. Fact: At this point, the number of directors was starting to resemble the cast list of a soap opera. Drama guaranteed!.
• Headline: EINSTEIN DISPUTES SURVIVAL BATTLE; Brands as 'Pseudo-Scientific' Any Linking of Darwin With 'Destructive Competition.'. Impact: Einstein's dispute over Darwin's theories sparked endless debates that still echo through college classrooms, inspiring every college student to confidently argue about evolution after reading just one Wikipedia article.. Fact: Einstein and Darwin probably would have made great friends if they had met, but their discussions would likely have baffled everyone else..
• Headline: BUREAU FOR THE AGED IS FORCED TO EXPAND; New Quarters Taken as Result of Rush of Applications -- Staff to Be Doubled.. Impact: The rush of applications for the Bureau for the Aged led to an increase in elder care facilities, which inadvertently resulted in the creation of bingo championships that brought together the sharpest minds of the elderly to compete for the title of 'Bingo Master.'. Fact: They say the rush of applications was so intense that even the coffee machine had to get a raise..
• Headline: MONTCLAIR STUDENT MISSING AT COLLEGE; Jersey and New York Police Hunt R.N. Harrison, Who Vanishes at Ann Arbor.. Impact: R.N. Harrison's disappearance led to a nationwide panic about student safety, which eventually resulted in the establishment of 'Missing Student Week' – a week dedicated to searching for anyone who forgot to text their parents.. Fact: The phrase 'missing persons' was coined shortly after this incident, likely because someone lost their keys and panicked..
• Headline: LEHMAN DEMANDS RIVAL LIST 'WASTE'; Describing Federal-State Items One by One, He Asks Which Bleakley Would Abandon. OPPONENT HAZY ON FACTS' State 'Carried On' Only by Washington's Help, Governor Tells Binghamton Crowd. LEHMAN DEMANDS RIVAL LIST 'WASTE'. Impact: Lehman’s demand for a list of 'waste' led to a never-ending cycle of budget cuts, resulting in the classic political maneuver known as 'finding waste that conveniently benefits my campaign.'. Fact: Lehman was known for his ability to make anything sound like a disaster, including his own lunch choices..
• Headline: LEADERSHIP URGED IN BUILDING LOANS; League Delegates Advised by Bankers Not to Depend on Legislation for Aid.. Impact: The push for leadership in building loans inadvertently led to the rise of the DIY home improvement craze, where everyone suddenly believed they were qualified to build their own deck – with results that could only be described as 'creative.'. Fact: F.W. Catlett's advice became a mantra for every homeowner: 'If you can’t find help, just pretend you’re on a reality TV show and wing it!'.