OCTOBER 11, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gildersleeve Endorses Roosevelt for President. Impact: Gildersleeve's endorsement of Roosevelt inadvertently inspired countless future politicians to believe that having 'wide experience' meant anything more than just being a good schmoozer at parties. Thanks, Dean!. Fact: Roosevelt's presidency was so impactful that he inspired a whole generation of political wannabes who thought they could just show up and run for office without any real qualifications..
• Headline: Waynesburg Dominates Rio Grande Football. Impact: Waynesburg's crushing victory by 59-0 sent shockwaves through the sports world, leading to an unbreakable string of high school rivalries, and the eventual invention of the participation trophy just to avoid such embarrassing defeats.. Fact: In sports, a score of 59-0 is often referred to as a 'total annihilation,' but really, it's just a fancy way of saying the other team should have stayed home..
• Headline: SS North Wind Completes Pacific Air Bases. Impact: The SS North Wind's mission to complete air bases in the Pacific inadvertently led to future generations believing that flying hotels were a good idea. Spoiler alert: they weren’t.. Fact: Pan American Lines has nothing to do with your anxiety about flying; however, their hotels on aircraft did lead to some pretty interesting in-flight beef options..
• Headline: Philosophies of the Nineteenth Century; MOVEMENTS OF THOUGHT IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY. By George H. Mead. Edited by Merritt H. Moore. 519 pp. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. $5.. Impact: George H. Mead's exploration of Nineteenth Century thought spawned an entire genre of philosophical debates that continue to baffle students and scholars alike—because who doesn't love a good argument about nothing?. Fact: The Nineteenth Century was so full of philosophical movements that if you put them all in a room, they’d probably just debate about who was the most pretentious..
• Headline: GAY PRETENDING. By Lucy Agnes Hancock. 310 pp. Philadelphia: The Penn Publishing Company. $2.. Impact: Lucy Agnes Hancock's work on 'Gay Pretending' might have inadvertently inspired future generations to embrace their true selves, leading to a lot more fabulous parties and a lot less pretending.. Fact: The term 'gay pretending' could describe a lot of things, including all those times someone pretended to enjoy your cooking at dinner parties..
• Headline: A Pleased Republican. Impact: The pleased Republican's vague satisfaction with Roosevelt's policies inadvertently paved the way for the modern political landscape, where politicians can be 'pleased' without actually doing anything meaningful.. Fact: The phrase 'pleased Republican' is often used to describe someone who's happy with the status quo, which is basically the political equivalent of saying 'meh.'.
• Headline: That Budget Question. Impact: The budget question spurred endless debates about fiscal responsibility, leading to a tradition of politicians promising the moon and delivering a budget spreadsheet that’s more confusing than a Rubik’s Cube.. Fact: The budget question is like a bad sequel in a movie franchise—everyone knows it’s coming, but nobody really wants to watch it..
• Headline: TO THE RIGHT?; A Philadelphian Expects No Second-Term Change. Impact: The Philadelphian's expectations of no second-term change set the tone for all future elections, where voters would continue to expect change while simultaneously voting for the same old faces.. Fact: Expecting change in politics is like expecting a cat to bark; it just doesn’t happen, no matter how many times you hope for it..
• Headline: Recommends Fence. Impact: The recommendation of a fence by a prominent Philadelphian led to the literal and metaphorical fencing of ideas in politics, paving the way for future debates about boundaries—both social and political.. Fact: The phrase 'good fences make good neighbors' was actually coined by a politician trying to avoid a neighbor's dog running on their lawn. True story..
• Headline: "Benedict Arnold Roosevelt". Impact: The label 'Benedict Arnold Roosevelt' created a cottage industry of political name-calling that persists today, ensuring that every politician will be immortalized in infamy at least once in their career.. Fact: Benedict Arnold's legacy is so powerful that even today, calling someone a 'Benedict Arnold' is the ultimate burn—right up there with 'That haircut is a crime against humanity.'.