SEPTEMBER 17, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Jersey's New Crime Bureau in 1936. Impact: The creation of this Crime Bureau led to an influx of undercover agents, which eventually inspired a hit TV show that made everyone think they could solve crimes. Spoiler alert: most can't.. Fact: Did you know that Jersey is more famous for its crime shows than for its tomatoes? Just think of all the people who could have been saved if they just grew more vegetables instead!.
• Headline: Jews Celebrate Rosh ha-Shanah 5697. Impact: This celebration not only marked a new year but also set off a trend of New Year’s resolutions that eventually led to countless gym memberships that no one ever used. Thanks, 5697!. Fact: Did you know that Rosh ha-Shanah is celebrated with sweet foods to symbolize the wish for a sweet year ahead? Too bad the gyms don’t offer sweet food diets!.
• Headline: Berkshire Hills Art Exhibit Reception. Impact: This art exhibit sparked a cultural renaissance that caused hipsters to start flocking to Berkshire Hills, leading to overpriced lattes and the birth of the term 'artisanal.'. Fact: Did you know that 'varnishing day' sounds like a great excuse to avoid doing actual work? If only we could varnish our responsibilities away!.
• Headline: ALLOTS $10,000,000 TO BUY SEED CORN; Wallace Will Lend Funds to Insure 1937 Plantings in the Drought-Hit Areas.. Impact: This funding for seed corn eventually led to the rise of corn as a global commodity, paving the way for more corn syrup than anyone could ever want in their sodas. Thanks, Wallace!. Fact: Did you know that corn is the only vegetable that can be turned into a sweetener, an oil, and a biofuel? It’s the overachiever of the vegetable world!.
• Headline: SEALS OUSTED FROM ROOF; Barking Atop French Casino Rouses Hotel to Court Action.. Impact: The seals' eviction created a ripple effect that led to stricter animal housing regulations in casinos, ensuring that no other roof-dwelling creatures could ever feel so unwelcome again.. Fact: Did you know that seals barking atop a casino is probably the most entertaining thing to happen in gambling since someone tried to bet on a rock's ability to roll?.
• Headline: THREE TO REPRESENT ETHIOPIA AT GENEVA; Italy Says Action Will Harm Interests of Peace by Delaying Her Return to League.. Impact: This diplomatic mission opened a can of worms that led to Italy's overzealous attempts to assert its power, influencing future international relations like a bad game of Jenga.. Fact: Did you know that international relations can sometimes feel like a game of chess, except the pieces are people and the stakes are a lot higher than just losing a pawn?.
• Headline: ACCUSED BY BEA GOTTLIEB; Man Denies Attack Upon Woman Golfer in Rockaway Hotel.. Impact: This accusation led to a series of unfortunate events, where hotel security got way too involved, making every golfer wary of their own caddy. Golf is supposed to be relaxing, right?. Fact: Did you know that golf was originally a sport for the elite? Now it’s just a bunch of people chasing a tiny ball while hoping no one attacks them!.
• Headline: Lieutenant O'Sullivan Retires. Impact: O'Sullivan's retirement set off a chain reaction of retirements in the police force, causing a mass exodus that led to the city realizing it needed to pay officers more. Spoiler: it took them a while.. Fact: Did you know that the average retirement cake is often more exciting than the actual retirement party? At least the cake is sweet!.
• Headline: GETS $15,000 LOOT IN TRUCK; Six Robber's Bind Garage Man and Take Load of Clothing.. Impact: This robbery led to stricter security measures in garages everywhere, ultimately resulting in the rise of 'hoodies' as a fashion trend. Thanks, robbers!. Fact: Did you know that stealing clothing can be a slippery slope? One minute you’re just taking a shirt, and the next you’re the subject of a police chase in a sitcom!.