AUGUST 27, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Philadelphia Alcohol Tank Car Explosion. Impact: The alcohol blast caused a series of increasingly ridiculous safety regulations, leading to the invention of the 'No Fun Zone' in factories worldwide. Thus, the world lost its ability to enjoy spontaneous celebrations, all because someone thought 'Hey, let’s store flammable liquids next to a BBQ grill!'. Fact: Did you know that this explosion led to the creation of the world's first manual on how NOT to throw a party with volatile substances? Because who doesn't want to ruin a good time with safety regulations?.
• Headline: Emmeline Cowdrey's Engagement Announcement. Impact: Emmeline Cowdrey's engagement led to a ripple effect of weddings that caused a nationwide shortage of white dresses, forcing future brides to wear bizarre alternatives like polka dots and plaid.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'bridezilla' was coined shortly after this engagement? Apparently, planning a wedding can turn even the sweetest of souls into a tyrant..
• Headline: J.W. HARRIMAN QUITS PRISON FOR FREEDOM; Wife Waits for Banker as He Is Released in Early Morning at Lewisburg, Pa.. Impact: J.W. Harriman's release from prison sparked a trend of wealthy individuals getting caught in financial scandals. Soon after, it became fashionable to have a 'jailhouse chic' phase in life, complete with orange jumpsuits as high fashion.. Fact: Did you know that Harriman's release party was probably more extravagant than most weddings? Just imagine a buffet of caviar while discussing tax evasion strategies!.
• Headline: Republicans Honor Barbour. Impact: Senator Barbour's speech against the New Deal led to the creation of a secretive club for disgruntled politicians who preferred to talk about the good ol' days over overpriced cocktails, inevitably resulting in the founding of more exclusive country clubs.. Fact: Did you know that 'Barbour' is now a synonym for 'grumpy politician'? Just try to say it without rolling your eyes—it's impossible!.
• Headline: MRS. WILMA PULITZER OBTAINS RENO DIVORCE; Charges Cruelty to Son of St. Louis Publisher -- Gets Custody of Child.. Impact: Mrs. Pulitzer’s divorce ignited a nationwide trend of dramatic divorces, leading to the invention of reality TV, where everyone can witness the explosive drama of breaking up over a bowl of popcorn.. Fact: Did you know that if Mrs. Pulitzer had a dime for every dramatic divorce in her wake, she could probably fund her own reality show? 'Real Housewives of the Pulitzer Estate' has a nice ring to it!.
• Headline: H.R. WILSON RESUMING POST IN SWITZERLAND; U.S. Minister Sails After a Vacation -- Doubts League Will Initiate Spanish Arms Ban.. Impact: H.R. Wilson's return to Switzerland led to an unexpected rise in chocolate consumption in the U.S. as people tried to cope with the stress of international diplomacy by drowning their sorrows in Swiss chocolate.. Fact: Did you know that chocolate was once considered an aphrodisiac? So really, Wilson was just helping the world get a little more... romantic..
• Headline: 200 OF OXFORD GROUP ARE GUESTS AT LENOX; Mrs. Arthur F. Schermerhorn Is Hostess at Tea and Reception -- Golf Tourney Opens.. Impact: The Lenox tea hosted by the Oxford Group led to an increase in pretentious tea parties, where guests would sip Earl Grey and pretend to discuss philosophy while actually just gossiping about their neighbors.. Fact: Did you know that tea was once banned in certain cultures? Guess they couldn't handle the heat that came with all that 'high society' gossip!.
• Headline: SURGICAL GROUP CURBED; But New Yorkers Say Council, Hit by Government, Is Disbanded.. Impact: The surgical group's dissolution led to a rise in DIY surgeries, resulting in internet videos that would make even the most seasoned surgeon cringe. It's amazing what people will attempt when they think 'How hard can it be?'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Just Google it' was first uttered by a surgeon who really regretted not taking a class on basic anatomy?.
• Headline: DYE PLANT ACCEPTS JERSEY UNION TERMS; East Paterson Concern Decides to Remain Open -- Two Others Still Spurn Contracts.. Impact: The dye plant's acceptance of union terms sparked a movement of labor rights that eventually led to the world's first 'Take Your Union Rep to Work Day,' where reps could witness the absolute chaos of office life firsthand.. Fact: Did you know that some people actually think unions are just clubs for workers to complain about their bosses? Spoiler: they are, but with way more paperwork!.