AUGUST 20, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Miss Jacobs Wins Manchester Tennis Match. Impact: If Miss Jacobs hadn't triumphed, tennis might have devolved into a mere game of lawn darts, losing all its charm and athleticism. Thanks to her, we now have the thrill of tennis stars arguing over line calls and grunting like they’re lifting weights.. Fact: Did you know that tennis was originally played with the palm of the hand? So, Miss Jacobs was basically a pioneer of the modern-day racket tantrum!.
• Headline: Ancient People Discovered Near Clovis. Impact: This discovery triggered a worldwide resurgence of interest in archaeology, leading to countless misguided college students majoring in 'Ancient Civilizations' while waiting tables. Thanks, Dr. E B Howard, for the economic boost to the coffee shop industry.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Uncivilized' people were just misunderstood. They were probably just really into interpretive dance and had a bad PR team..
• Headline: Dooling's Truce Amidst Chaos. Impact: The Tammany Hall fistfight inspired generations of political debates where arguments devolve into shouting matches. Today, political discourse is basically just a bunch of folks throwing verbal punches at each other on social media.. Fact: Did you know that Tammany Hall was notorious for its corruption? So, really, this fight was just a heated discussion about who got the last piece of cake at the political buffet..
• Headline: ACTORS SAIL FOR EUROPE; Basil Rathbone to Make Film -Philip Merivale Departs.. Impact: Basil Rathbone's departure for Europe led to a Hollywood craze of actors trying to get 'European' accents, which resulted in generations of truly awful dialects in films. Thanks, Basil, for the cringe-worthy performances.. Fact: Did you know that Rathbone became famous for playing Sherlock Holmes? So really, he was just off to find the mystery of why we still have bad European accents in movies..
• Headline: RHYTHM ANNEXES STAR CLASS SAIL; Abberley and Middlebrook Go to Lead in Atlantic Coast Series for Title. SUNNY SECOND IN RACE Leads Valiant Across Line Off Westhampton Beach -- Mast on Arrow Crashes.. Impact: The success of Abberley and Middlebrook led to the creation of motivational posters featuring sailboats and inspirational quotes. By the time we reached the 2000s, this had spiraled into a full-blown industry of coffee mugs and wall art.. Fact: Fun fact: Sailing is the only sport where you can be completely at the mercy of the wind and still come in second place. Welcome to life!.
• Headline: No Bids on Agawam Park. Impact: The lack of bids on Agawam Park led to a series of town meetings that convinced local governments everywhere that they could simply ignore public opinion. Now, we have parks that are pretty much just glorified dog bathrooms.. Fact: Did you know that 'no bids' is code for 'we're not interested in maintaining this place'? It's like when you put a bad dish back in the fridge hoping it’ll magically become gourmet overnight..
• Headline: THEODORA COTT WED IN HOME CEREMONY; Goshen, N. Y., Girl Becomes Bride of Herbert F. O'Hare Jr. of Washington.. Impact: The wedding of Theodora Cott and Herbert F. O'Hare Jr. set off a series of unfortunate matchmaking attempts that eventually led to the rise of reality TV shows about love. Thanks a lot for the drama, Theodora.. Fact: Did you know that weddings have been around for thousands of years? And yet, somehow, every couple still manages to think theirs is the most unique and special. Spoiler alert: they’re not..
• Headline: 17 'ABSENT' WORKERS REVEALED AS DEAD IN CHECK-UP BY WPA; Inquiry Conducted by Ridder Disclosed Many Abuses Which He Corrected. MORE CASES BEING SIFTED Somervell Says the Need for Vigilance Still Exists -- Records Show Wide Misery. 17 MEN FOUND DEAD IN CHECK-UP BY WPA. Impact: This WPA check-up revealed severe mismanagement, leading to a nationwide obsession with audits. The modern-day equivalent? Everyone now checks their bank statements like they're solving a murder mystery.. Fact: Did you know that the WPA stood for Works Progress Administration? They were supposed to help people find jobs, but it turns out they were just really good at uncovering dead weight... literally..