AUGUST 9, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: GM Achieves Record Sales in July 1936. Impact: The surge in General Motors sales set off an automotive revolution that would lead to a 21st-century obsession with SUVs, causing countless suburban driveways to explode with oversized vehicles that are often used for nothing more than school drop-offs.. Fact: Did you know that this 'heavy gain' in 1936 led to the rise of the phrase 'Keep calm and drive on'? Just kidding, that only became popular in 2005..
• Headline: A Tale of Ireland: The Need We Have. Impact: This book, with its profound title, inspired a series of self-help movements in the 21st century, leading to the infamous 'Need We Have' Instagram accounts that encourage people to share their existential crises in aesthetically pleasing ways.. Fact: A. Hamilton Gibbs probably thought this was a profound reflection on society. Spoiler alert: it wasn't..
• Headline: The Journey of a Touring Shrew. Impact: The itinerant 'Shrew' became a traveling sensation, ultimately inspiring a reality TV show about disgruntled actors on tour, where chaos and drama ruled the day—because nothing says entertainment like watching people argue over Shakespeare.. Fact: If only 'Taming of the Shrew' had featured a singing cat, it might have won an Oscar. Or maybe not..
• Headline: Attorney Sues Himself As Result of Auto Crash. Impact: This bizarre case of self-litigation set a precedent that would later lead to the famous legal phrase, 'You can't sue yourself, but if you do, make sure to have a good lawyer.'. Fact: This attorney clearly took 'self-reflection' to a whole new level. Who knew that therapy could lead to legal fees?.
• Headline: Front Page 1 -- No Title. Impact: The memorial tournament, while likely well-organized, inadvertently set the stage for countless other pointless competitions where people compete not for glory, but for the chance to hold a trophy and brag about it on social media.. Fact: Let's be honest, the only reason people participate in best-ball tournaments is for the snacks. It's all about the chips and dip, folks..
• Headline: BOSTON ENTRY FOURTH IN MODEL YACHT RACE; Blue Chip Wins Time Cup as English Boat Captures Series at Gosport.. Impact: This yacht race became the catalyst for the rise of the snooty yacht club culture, leading to a generation of people who believe wearing white pants and sipping champagne while sailing is an acceptable way to spend a Saturday.. Fact: If you think yacht races are all about competition, think again. They're really just elaborate excuses for people to show off their sunburns..
• Headline: TREASURY ISSUES TAX EXPLANATION; Regulations Cover Puzzling Points in Law Relating to Distribution of Earnings. SIMPLE, OFFICIALS SAY How Corporation Can Pass Levy to Shareholders and Retain Cash for Expansion Shown.. Impact: This tax regulation was so 'simple' that it led to a national crisis of accountants questioning their life choices and a rise in the numbers of people googling 'How to do my taxes without crying.'. Fact: Ah yes, nothing says 'fun' like taxes! It's like a game where everyone loses..
• Headline: Tidball Wins in Canada. Impact: Tidball's win led to an explosion of interest in lawn tennis, creating a ripple effect that ultimately turned the sport into a multi-billion dollar industry, complete with overpriced rackets and dramatic rivalries.. Fact: Fun fact: Tidball's victory was the highlight of many people's summers, right up until the ice cream truck came around..
• Headline: MAN DROWNS AT HALESITE; Chef for Justice Faber Sinks After His Boat Is Overturned.. Impact: The unfortunate drowning incident sparked a wave of safety regulations for boaters, leading to a generation of people who can now recite the safety rules of boating better than their own phone numbers.. Fact: In the grand scheme of things, drowning incidents are a tragic reminder that sometimes, life doesn’t come with a manual. Or a life jacket..