JULY 28, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vote on Commercial Credit Stock Increase. Impact: When stockholders voted to increase their shares, they unknowingly set off a chain reaction that would eventually lead to the rise of day traders, meme stocks, and the phenomenon of people buying shares of companies they can't even pronounce. Thanks, stockholders!. Fact: Did you know that stockholders typically have more meetings than a book club? But unlike book clubs, they don’t serve snacks..
• Headline: Sigrid Undset's 'Gunnar's Daughter' Published. Impact: Sigrid Undset's work became a literary staple, influencing generations of writers. Who knew a book about a Norwegian family could lead to millions of awkward family dinners where everyone pretends to read?. Fact: Fun fact: 'Gunnar's Daughter' isn’t about a girl who invents a new brand of yogurt, despite what the title suggests..
• Headline: Judge Goldstein's Primary Election Controversy. Impact: Judge Goldstein's decision to run in the primary sparked debates about judicial impartiality that echoed through the legal system. This ultimately led to judges avoiding political campaigns like the plague, or at least until social media made it all too tempting.. Fact: Judges running for office: because who doesn’t want to be judged while judging others?.
• Headline: Eaton's Article on Fudge-Making Suppressed Lest His Title of 'Iron Man' Be Imperiled. Impact: The suppression of Eaton's fudge article led to a national crisis in dessert credibility, resulting in a fudge shortage that made people question their entire dessert existence. Ironically, it also spawned a black market for fudge, proving that dessert is serious business!. Fact: Fudge: the only food that can be both a dessert and a potential felony..
• Headline: BOGOLJUBOW BEATS EUWE IN 59 MOVES; Downs World Chess Champion at Zandvoort and Gains Second-Place Tie.. Impact: Bogoljubow's victory over Euwe sent shockwaves through the chess community, leading to a rise in chess clubs and an alarming number of people thinking they could beat their grandmothers at checkers. Spoiler: they couldn’t.. Fact: Chess: the only game where you can lose in just 59 moves and still be considered a genius..
• Headline: ROCKEFELLER ASKS LOWER LIQUOR TAX; Back From Europe, He Holds High Levies Have Kept Way Open for Bootleggers. FEARS FOR BIG FORTUNES 30 Years 'Long Time' for Them to Stay Intact, He Says -- Found England Prosperous.. Impact: Rockefeller’s plea for lower liquor taxes resulted in a temporary dive in bootlegging rates, which ironically led to the rise of hipster craft breweries in the 21st century. Who knew prohibition would lead to artisanal gin?. Fact: Rockefeller: the only person who could ask for lower liquor taxes while still managing to sound like he’s giving you a lecture on economics..
• Headline: Gains by Dominican Republic. Impact: The reported gains in the Dominican Republic served as a catalyst for future economic discussions, leading to the phrase 'economic growth' being thrown around in every boring political speech ever since.. Fact: The Dominican Republic: where political gains are sometimes more exciting than the actual gains..
• Headline: Corner Shoe Shine Worth Only 5 Cents, Court Rules. Impact: The court ruling about the shoe shine price led to a national reflection on the value of hard work and the eventual decline of shoe shines, as people realized they could just wear sneakers instead.. Fact: 5 cents for a shoe shine? At that rate, they should have thrown in a complimentary foot massage!.
• Headline: THE CIVIL SERVICE; Administration's Record on Merit System Comes In for Criticism.. Impact: Criticism of the administration’s civil service record led to decades of bureaucratic reforms that made the system even more convoluted. Who needs efficiency when you can have paperwork, am I right?. Fact: Civil service: where merit is often just a suggestion, like wearing pants to a Zoom call..