JULY 20, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Funeral Services for Armenian Bishop. Impact: The passing of Bishop Martoogesian led to a surge in religious gatherings, which inadvertently inspired a future generation of hipsters to revive the art of the candlelit vigil, complete with artisanal candles and acoustic guitar. Who knew mourning could spark a trend?. Fact: Did you know that the average funeral lasts longer than most modern movies? At least at funerals, the snacks are usually much better..
• Headline: Rev Coughlin vs. Roosevelt in 1936. Impact: Rev Coughlin's attacks on Roosevelt created a chain reaction of political debates that eventually led to the creation of talk radio, which is now filled with people yelling at each other about things they saw on the internet. Thanks, Coughlin!. Fact: Here’s a fun fact: If you yell loudly enough about politics, you might just get a podcast!.
• Headline: Germany's Ambitious Olympic Preparations. Impact: Germany's over-the-top preparations for the Olympics set a precedent for future Olympic ceremonies, leading to a spiraling arms race of extravagant opening acts. Spoiler: it eventually led to the Olympic mascot being a giant inflatable sausage.. Fact: Did you know that the original Olympic games were held in ancient Greece and featured no mascots? Just athletes running around in their birthday suits. How times have changed!.
• Headline: CHANDLEE'S BOAT CHOSEN; Orion to Represent Barnegat Bay in Star Class Title Series.. Impact: Chandlee's boat being chosen for the regatta inspired generations of sailors who, in an ironic twist, mostly spend their time on Instagram rather than actually sailing. Thanks for the motivation, Chandlee!. Fact: Did you know that sailing is the only sport where you can get a sunburn while sitting down? Now that’s what I call multitasking!.
• Headline: Tribute Paid to Mitchel. Impact: Mitchel's memorial service became a rallying point that united disparate groups, ultimately leading to the formation of a secret society dedicated to preserving the legacies of forgotten leaders. They still haven’t figured out who’s in charge.. Fact: Interestingly, memorial services have more rules than a board game—don’t talk too loud, don’t bring your own snacks, and for goodness' sake, no dancing!.
• Headline: FRY TEAM TAKES 2D BRIDGE TITLE; He and Miss Chase Win Pair Play After Earlier Victory in Team-of-Four Contest. NEAR SWEEP FOR NEW YORK Only One All-New England Pair Finish Among First Ten at New London.. Impact: The Fry team's victory at the bridge title became a beacon of hope for future bridge enthusiasts, leading to the creation of an underground bridge club that meets in a basement and only serves tea sandwiches. Talk about living the dream!. Fact: Did you know that bridge is the only game that combines elements of strategy, luck, and the occasional argument with your partner? Welcome to the real sport!.
• Headline: THE PLUG HAT SECTION. Impact: The Emporia Gazette's editorial stance on Democratic converts resulted in a never-ending cycle of political conversions, leading to the creation of the 'Political Turncoat Hall of Fame' where they can all gather and reminisce about their past selves.. Fact: Did you know that political opinions can change as quickly as the weather? One minute you're a Democrat, the next you’re a Republican—just like how I change my mind about pizza toppings!.
• Headline: Credit to Senator Borah. Impact: Senator Borah’s tribute led to a mass confusion over what constitutes a 'proper' tribute, resulting in a generation of politicians that now just send tweets as their form of respectful acknowledgment. So much for dignity!. Fact: Did you know that in ancient times, tributes were often given in the form of livestock? Now we just settle for likes on social media—progress?.