JUNE 22, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Youth Relief Jobs Expansion in NYC. Impact: The addition of 2,000 relief jobs sparked a generation of park enthusiasts who would eventually form a secret society dedicated to extreme picnicking. Their quest for the perfect sandwich has led to the invention of the first flying picnic basket in 2042.. Fact: Did you know that job relief programs like this one were just the government’s way of making sure people had enough time to perfect their frisbee skills? Because what good is a job if you can’t throw a disc around in the park?.
• Headline: Morgan-Webb Advocates for Stable Exchanges. Impact: Sir Charles Morgan-Webb's comments about nationalism laid the groundwork for the world's future obsession with labeling everything—eventually leading to the rise of the 'Narrow Nationalism' Fan Club, which ironically had members from 27 different countries.. Fact: Fun fact: This was the same year that 'globalism' was declared a swear word in 14 different languages. Talk about a communication breakdown!.
• Headline: Landis Campaign Gains Momentum in 1936. Impact: The split opposition in Ohio led to a chaotic game of political musical chairs, resulting in a bizarre 1936 election where candidates campaigned by playing bingo, leading to the first-ever Bingo Party that still exists today.. Fact: Did you know that political strategists now recommend bingo as a great way to win over undecided voters? Apparently, shouting 'Bingo!' is more effective than 'I have a plan!'.
• Headline: Pedestrian Fatally Hurt. Impact: The unfortunate incident of the pedestrian marked the beginning of a long-standing feud between pedestrians and drivers, culminating in the creation of an underground movement called 'The Walkers' who sought to reclaim the streets in a series of epic dance-offs.. Fact: Pedestrian deaths are a grim reminder that crosswalks are just suggestions, and apparently, cars don’t always stop for 'please'..
• Headline: FINNS IN PARK GIVE MIDSUMMER DANCE; 5,000 Gather on Mall to View Folk Festival Devoted to 'the Day of Light.' THEIR HOMELAND PRAISED Windels Calls It Nation Without Political Extremes -- Native Costumes Add Color.. Impact: The midsummer dance led to a spike in folk dance parties across the globe, inadvertently creating a world record for the most awkward dance moves ever witnessed in synchronized fashion.. Fact: Did you know that this event inspired the world’s first 'Dancing with the Stars: Folk Edition'? Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well for the judges..
• Headline: BRIDGE PRIZES AWARDED; Appleyard and Fagan Win Open Pairs at Long Beach.. Impact: The bridge prizes awarded marked the start of a highly competitive bridge-playing subculture that would eventually lead to the creation of the first bridge-themed reality show, 'Keeping Up with the Cardshians.'. Fact: Bridge is the only game where the stakes are so high you might actually lose your friends. Or worse, your sanity..
• Headline: SCOUTS IN GREATER NEW YORK. Impact: The Scouts’ focus on juvenile delinquency led to the establishment of 'Scouts Gone Wild', a reality show that showcased the wildest, most reckless campfire antics ever seen. Spoiler alert: no one earned their fire safety badge.. Fact: Did you know that the Boy Scouts of America once considered making 'not getting into trouble' an official merit badge? They quickly abandoned the idea after realizing it would be impossible..
• Headline: FEDERAL AID REVIEWED; Social Security Board Has Paid Out $25,000,000, Miss Hoey Says.. Impact: The Social Security Board's review of federal aid brought about a massive boom in the field of social work. It also led to the creation of a new sport: 'Aid-lympics', where social workers compete for the title of 'Most Creative Funding Source'.. Fact: Did you know that the $25 million paid out at the time is now considered 'cute' by today’s standards? It’s like comparing pocket change to the price of avocado toast!.