JUNE 12, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Moran Claims Fares Drive Unification Talks. Impact: If only Assemblyman Moran had kept his mouth shut, we might have avoided years of debates about fare increases. Instead, a butterfly flaps its wings, and now we have a world where every subway ride feels like a financial heist.. Fact: Did you know that a 10-cent fare back then could buy you a cup of coffee? Now it barely covers the tip!.
• Headline: Emerald Collection Exhibit Opens. Impact: This exhibit sparked a worldwide emerald craze, leading to a shortage of green gemstones. Little did they know, it would eventually inspire a wave of 'greener than thou' social media influencers.. Fact: Emeralds have been associated with fertility and rebirth. Talk about a gem with high expectations!.
• Headline: New York Delegates Approve Platform Draft. Impact: The decision to drop the platform meeting somehow led to the rise of countless other meetings that didn’t need to happen. Thanks to this, we now have the endless conference call phenomenon.. Fact: The only thing more exciting than platform meetings is watching paint dry. At least the paint doesn't talk back!.
• Headline: CHILDREN TO ENTERTAIN; Five From Uncle Robert's Troupe to Perform at Nanuet Shrine.. Impact: The children's performance was so riveting that it inspired future generations to create talent shows, eventually leading to the rise of reality TV. Bravo, Uncle Robert!. Fact: Did you know that in the future, children will be performing on stages with more drama than a soap opera? This was just the warm-up!.
• Headline: Fake 'Killer' Goes to Asylum. Impact: This fake killer's trip to the asylum started a trend of using mental health facilities as a convenient escape route, paving the way for the infamous 'just kidding' defense in court cases.. Fact: In some places, being committed to an asylum might just be a vacation. Sign me up!.
• Headline: 35-Hour Week in Mexico. Impact: The adoption of a 35-hour workweek in Mexico sent shockwaves through the labor movement worldwide, leading to a ripple effect of unions fighting for more leisure time. More margaritas, less work, right?. Fact: The only thing shorter than a 35-hour workweek is the attention span of a cat. Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: NEW NATIONAL BODY UNANIMOUSLY CHOSEN; Convention Holds 2 Brief Day Sessions in Absence of Resolutions Committee Report. Special to THE NEW YORK TIMES.. Impact: The unanimous choice of the national body was the first step toward a future where political decisions could be made without any real debate or discussion. Hooray for democracy, am I right?. Fact: Unanimous decisions are like unicorns—everyone talks about them, but they are rarely seen in the wild!.
• Headline: Two Jersey Boys Drowned. Impact: The tragic drowning of the two boys led to stricter safety regulations around waterways, thus saving countless future lives. A heartbreaking event that changed the course of public safety.. Fact: Drowning is still one of the leading causes of accidental death. So, let's make sure we teach everyone how to swim, shall we?.
• Headline: KAT 1- CIL-K- !HAS CHURCH BRIDAL; Rev. H.W.B:Dod/an and. Roy. A. L, lins01ving Ma'r'ry::!:ler to John-. Pillsbury Jr.". Impact: The marriage of Rev. H.W.B and Roy A. L brought together two families, setting off a long chain of family reunions that were less about love and more about who brought the best potato salad.. Fact: Marriage: the only war where you get a medal for just showing up and pretending to listen!.
• Headline: Big Library for Nanking. Impact: The construction of a big library in Nanking inspired future generations to value literacy, leading to a world where everyone thinks they are a novelist. Thanks, Nanking!. Fact: Libraries are the only places where you can be quiet and still be surrounded by thousands of people, all of whom are ignoring each other. A true marvel!.