APRIL 3, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Parents Experience Harvard College Life. Impact: As parents attended classes at Harvard, they inadvertently inspired the trend of helicopter parenting. Fast forward a few decades, and now college students can't even microwave a burrito without a parental advisory!. Fact: Did you know that this was the last time parents were allowed to sit in on lectures? They realized their kids were too busy Snapchatting to actually learn anything..
• Headline: Australia Considers Rationing Trade in 1936. Impact: Had Australia gone through with trade rationing, it might have triggered a global shortage of Tim Tams, leading to a worldwide chocolate crisis that could have reshaped dessert consumption forever.. Fact: Fun fact: Those unfavorable trade balances since 1923 were just Australia's ploy to keep the rest of the world from stealing their kangaroos and Vegemite recipes..
• Headline: Wendel Murder Charge Updates. Impact: The gathering of governors at a dinner might seem harmless, but it set the precedent for future political dinners where decisions are made over steak and potatoes, leading to an alarming rise in political obesity.. Fact: Did you know that this dinner was hosted in Brooklyn? Because nothing says 'historic celebration' like a bunch of politicians fighting over the last slice of pizza..
• Headline: 12 GOVERNORS INVITED TO LONG ISLAND DINNER; Lehman Also Asks Five Envoys to Take Part in Tercentenary Celebration.. Impact: The selection of committeemen may have been mundane, but it laid the groundwork for the endless cycle of political backroom deals, ultimately leading to the invention of the term 'political drama' – just without the popcorn.. Fact: Did you know that this was also the first time that candidates were required to have a 'cool' nickname? Maybe that's where 'Maloney the Magnificent' started gaining traction..
• Headline: COMMITTEEMEN CHOSEN; Leonard, Maloney in First District -- Rorty, Degnan in Second.. Impact: Fleming's speech about laws not being a cure-all sparked a nationwide debate that lasted generations, ultimately leading to the invention of the phrase 'Well, there's always a law for that!' – which we now use to excuse absolutely everything.. Fact: Fun fact: This meeting was where bankers first realized that 'trust' was no longer a currency; they should've just stuck to Monopoly money..
• Headline: OLD RIGHT TO LEAD ASKED FOR BANKS; Government Also Should Help Business to Resume Its Enterprise, Fleming Says. LAWS NOT A 'CURE-ALL' Speakers at Chicago Meeting of Bankers Call for End of Federal Competition.. Impact: The gathering of Moslems for a celebration in Jerusalem not only strengthened community ties but also inadvertently inspired future interfaith dialogues, which led to countless awkward dinners where everyone pretends to love each other's food.. Fact: Did you know that Nebimusa is just a fancy way of saying, 'Hey, let's all meet and pretend we have nothing better to do?'.
• Headline: MOSLEMS GATHERING FOR JERUSALEM FETE; Arabs Accept Bid to Send a Delegation to London to Discuss Council.. Impact: Marcantonio's demand for an investigation into negligence could be seen as a catalyst for future whistleblower movements, where people learned that yelling loudly can sometimes lead to actual change – or at least a lot of paperwork.. Fact: Fun fact: V A Barron's 'torture' in Brazil was later revealed to involve an endless loop of elevator music..
• Headline: KNOX SLATE PICKED BY G.O.P. IN MAINE; Bangor Convention Endorses 13 Delegates After Candidate of Landon Backer Is Beaten.. Impact: The arrival of Father Damien's body on a funeral ship in Bermuda initiated a wave of interest in posthumous travel, leading to the absurd concept of 'destination funerals' where people plan their own afterlife vacations.. Fact: Fun fact: Father Damien was so beloved that his funeral ship was actually the first cruise liner to offer a 'rest in peace' package – complete with all-you-can-eat nachos!.
• Headline: FUNERAL SHIP IN BERMUDA; Belgian Vessel With Body of Father Damien Is at St. George's..