FEBRUARY 19, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tribute to Senator Reeves at Funeral. Impact: The entire New Jersey Senate attending a funeral creates a ripple effect of solemnity that somehow leads to New Jersey's reputation for being perpetually serious. This ultimately inspires the creation of the world’s first ‘No Laughing Zone’ bill.. Fact: Funerals are the only events where it's socially acceptable to wear black and not crack a smile, unless you're an awkward uncle trying to lighten the mood..
• Headline: Insights on President Jefferson Davis. Impact: Jefferson Davis’s presidency is often overshadowed, but every time someone references a ‘lost cause’, a historian somewhere sheds a single tear and wonders how many more times they’ll have to explain the Civil War.. Fact: Jefferson Davis was once a senator and a secretary of war. So, he basically went from war planning to war losing in record time!.
• Headline: Understanding Crime and Politics in 1936. Impact: Every time someone mentions 'crime and politics', a conspiracy theorist somewhere pops up to remind us that they’re basically the same thing. This leads to the invention of the phrase 'political crime'—which is now used to describe everything from embezzlement to not waving back at a constituent.. Fact: In politics, 'crime' can often mean anything from jaywalking to stealing an election, depending on who you ask!.
• Headline: Costa Rica Will Evict Cocos Treasure Hunters. Impact: Evicting treasure hunters from Cocos Island - a bold move that ensures future generations will spend decades searching for lost gold, only to discover it’s been replaced by overpriced souvenir shops.. Fact: Treasure hunting is basically the adult version of playing hide-and-seek, except the stakes are way higher and there are fewer kids involved..
• Headline: PLANS BUSES TO FAIR.; McAneny Outlines Tentative Service Arrangements.. Impact: The planning of bus services to the World’s Fair sets off a chain reaction of events leading to the invention of the phrase 'Are we there yet?'—a classic in family road trips for generations to come.. Fact: The only thing more complicated than planning a trip to a fair is figuring out how to get your kids to agree on which ride to go on first..
• Headline: BARNARD ALUMNAE HONOR THEIR DEAN; Miss Gildersleeve's 25th Year in Office Is Celebrated at Dinners Throughout Nation. PRESIDENT PAYS TRIBUTE Hails Her 'Rare Contribution' to Women's Education -- Mayor and Butler Speak.. Impact: The celebration of Miss Gildersleeve’s contributions sparks a nationwide movement for better education for women, culminating in the invention of 'The Empowered Woman' coffee mug.. Fact: Celebrating 25 years in office is impressive, but let’s be honest—it's just a little more time than it takes most of us to decide what to have for dinner..
• Headline: Named Collector at Buffalo.. Impact: This appointment leads to a chain of events where everyone in Buffalo starts collecting weird things, notably snow globes of their own city—because nothing says ‘I love Buffalo’ quite like a miniature version of it in glass.. Fact: Being a customs collector means you get to play 'What's in the box?' every day, but sadly no actual unboxing videos..
• Headline: JOHNSON DEFENDS COURT AS 'UMPIRE'; Says It Would Be 'No Less Than Revolution' to Deprive the Supreme Bench of Power.. Impact: This defense of the Supreme Court leads to a dramatic increase in amateur umpiring across the nation, where sports and politics collide in a spectacularly messy way. Can you imagine a Supreme Court ruling delivered in baseball lingo?. Fact: If the Supreme Court were actual umpires, they'd probably still get booed by the crowd for making questionable calls on hot-button issues..
• Headline: RITES FOR MGR. MEEHAN.; 2,000 Persons Attend Service at J All Saints Church, Jersey City, I. Impact: Mgr. Meehan's funeral becomes a moment of unity, reminding us all that in times of loss, people can come together—until they start arguing over who gets the last piece of cake at the reception.. Fact: A gathering of 2,000 people for a funeral is a testament to a well-lived life; or perhaps just really good free food afterwards..
• Headline: CONVICT AIDS REICH IN NISSELBECK CASE; In Prison Garb, Ex-Assistant of Strasser Asserts He Saw American With Latter. TESTIMONY BADLY SHAKEN Defendant Then Produces His Passport to Prove He Was Not in Prague at Time.. Impact: This convoluted case demonstrates how tangled webs of deceit can lead to political scapegoating, resulting in an entire generation of lawyers who think they can solve anything with a good passport photo.. Fact: When in doubt, always carry your passport—because you never know when you might need to prove you weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time (or just trying to escape a bad date)..