JANUARY 27, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Sasebo Drydock Explosion Fatality Report. Impact: The explosion on the destroyer leads to a ban on oil tank storage near drydocks, which eventually inspires a new generation of safety regulations. Fast forward, and that regulation inadvertently sparks the creation of overly cautious safety manuals, which prevent future generations from ever having real fun on ships.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more explosive than an oil tank is people's love for maritime safety regulations? Yeah, thrilling stuff!.
• Headline: W.M. Ivins Jr. on Old Books. Impact: W.M. Ivins Jr.'s lecture on old books leads to an unexpected increase in hipster book clubs, which ultimately results in a worldwide obsession with musty old tomes. Fast forward a century, and people are paying outrageous prices for typewriters and vintage bookmarks.. Fact: Funny how old books have more followers than some of today's celebrities. Maybe they should run for office..
• Headline: Historic Marriage of Tendler and Glicksman. Impact: H Glicksman and Tendler's union sends shockwaves through their social circles, inspiring a series of awkward family gatherings and the invention of the wedding registry. This small act leads to a future filled with mismatched kitchenware and endless 'what do we get them?' conversations.. Fact: Did you know that the average wedding now costs more than some small countries' GDP? Thanks a lot, H and Glicksman!.
• Headline: Italian Group Gives Dinner.. Impact: The Italian dinner becomes a culinary sensation that propels spaghetti into the mainstream, leading to the global spread of pasta and the rise of Italian restaurants everywhere. Who knew a benefit dinner would eventually fuel the international carb crisis?. Fact: If you think 'pasta' is just Italian for 'delicious,' you’re right! But it also means 'I can’t stop eating.'.
• Headline: INCOME TAX DAY OF GRACE.; March 16 Will Be Last Date for Payment This Spring.. Impact: The grace period for income tax payments becomes a national sport, leading to the rise of procrastination as a celebrated lifestyle. This ultimately results in an entire generation that believes April 15th should be a public holiday dedicated to tax avoidance.. Fact: Did you know that some people celebrate Tax Day with a party? It's like a twisted version of Christmas, but with more stress and less eggnog..
• Headline: Opposed to the Bonus.. Impact: Opposition to the veterans' bonus bill catalyzes movements that redefine how society views veterans. Fast forward, and this sparks the birth of Veterans Day, which ironically becomes just another excuse for a sale.. Fact: Did you know that fighting for veterans' benefits is like trying to convince a cat to take a bath? It's messy and often results in scratches..
• Headline: Thiemc Davis.. Impact: K L Thieme's engagement to Thiemc Davis sets off a chain reaction of social media wedding posts that will haunt the internet for decades. Fast forward, and now everyone’s sharing their engagement photos while we all pretend to care.. Fact: Did you know that engagement announcements are the new birth announcements? Because who doesn’t want to hear about someone else's happiness while scrolling through their own existential crisis?.