JANUARY 20, 1936

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rev. Ralls Disappearance Shocks Long Island. Impact: The mysterious disappearance sparked a nationwide trend in overly dramatic church sermons, leading to the eventual creation of reality TV shows centered around missing persons.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more perplexing than a missing minister is trying to find a decent parking spot at a mega-church..
• Headline: The Schwartzwald Bill.. Impact: The passing of this bill marked the beginning of a long, tedious battle over free speech that would lead to the invention of countless 'politically correct' expressions, which no one can seem to agree on.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing more controversial than the Schwartzwald Bill is trying to explain it at a family dinner..
• Headline: Cram Services on Wednesday.. Impact: These services were attended by so many people that they inadvertently launched a trend of elaborate funeral arrangements, giving rise to a market for personalized funerals that we now see today.. Fact: Did you know that 'Cram Services' sounds like the name of a study group for the eternally procrastinating?.
• Headline: Olympic Highway Opened.. Impact: The opening of the Olympic Highway led to an influx of tourists and athletes, which ultimately paved the way for the annual 'I can't believe I drove 20 hours for this' road trip experience.. Fact: Did you know that the Olympic Highway is the only highway that, if you drive fast enough, you might feel like you're in the Olympics—minus the gold medal, of course?.
• Headline: RICH SHOOTS A 69 TO WIN ON LINKS; Chicagoan Takes Low Gross in the Advertising League Handicap at Palm Beach. TWO FINISH IN DEADLOCK Hartman, 73-4-69, and Judd, 83-14-69, Divide the First Net Award.. Impact: This remarkable score led to the development of a new golf etiquette rule: never mention your score unless it’s lower than 'Rich’s 69'—a phrase that has become a secret code among golfers.. Fact: Did you know that 'shooting a 69' is the only time golfers can celebrate a score that sounds scandalous in any other context?.
• Headline: MRS. HORATIO MARION.. Impact: Mrs. Marion’s life story became the foundation for several historical novels, leading to a genre where every plot twist includes a perplexing husband and a mysterious past.. Fact: Fun fact: 'Mrs. Horatio Marion' is the name that could either belong to a historical figure or the protagonist in a poorly written soap opera..
• Headline: TRAFFIC COURT PENALTIES.; Incongruity Is Seen in Sentences Given for Varying Offenses.. Impact: The inconsistencies in traffic court penalties led to a nationwide movement for standardized laws, which are now discussed endlessly on social media like they’re the latest celebrity gossip.. Fact: Isn't it ironic that traffic penalties are the one thing that can make even the most mild-mannered citizen transform into a furious lawyer on social media?.
• Headline: McNICHOL IS NAMED COACH; Will Succeed Muller as Crew Mentor at Penn A.C. Today.. Impact: McNichol's appointment not only revitalized the crew team but also set a precedent for future coaches—leading to an entire generation of overzealous sports parents who think they know better.. Fact: Did you know that being named coach is a lot like being appointed to lead a group project—everyone thinks they should have been the one chosen?.