DECEMBER 30, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gang Violence Claims Chicago Legislator. Impact: The assassination of Al Prignano inadvertently led to a surge in the popularity of detective novels, as writers sought to capture the gritty realities of the 'Bloody 20th' Ward. Who knew that crime could be so... inspiring?. Fact: Did you know that being a ward leader in Chicago is basically a live-action role-playing game where the stakes are literally life and death? Fun times!.
• Headline: Strasbourg's Family Quarrels Uncovered. Impact: The family quarrel in Strasbourg sparked a series of increasingly ridiculous family reality TV shows, all based on the idea that yelling at each other is the new family bonding activity. Thanks, Strasbourg!. Fact: Did you know that family quarrels have been a staple of human interaction since the dawn of time? It's almost like they create a special bond... a bond of chaos!.
• Headline: Updated Trade Rules for Cotton Textiles. Impact: The approval of new trade rules for cotton textiles in 1923 led to a fashion revolution that somehow made 'sweatpants chic' decades later. Who knew that cotton could have such a long-term impact on couch culture?. Fact: Did you know that cotton was once considered a luxury fabric? Now, it’s just what you wear when you can’t be bothered to dress up!.
• Headline: Wolder -- Rashkow.. Impact: The engagement of M M Wolder led to an unexplained increase in the use of the middle name 'M' in future generations, causing countless paperwork headaches for families across America. Thanks a lot, Wolder!. Fact: Did you know that 'M' could stand for anything? Mystery? Madness? Maybe you should ask M M Wolder!.
• Headline: 8 ANCIENT TABLETS OF PERSIANS FOUND; Discovery at the Ruins of Persepolis Is Described by Returning Archaeologist. RECORDS OF IRANIAN KINGS Stone Slabs With Inscriptions of Cuneiform Characters Were Beneath Palaces.. Impact: The discovery of ancient tablets at Persepolis led to historians dramatically re-evaluating their understanding of the Persian Empire, which in turn inspired a slew of terrible movies about ancient civilizations. Thanks, Hollywood!. Fact: Did you know that cuneiform characters were once the height of communication? Now, they’re just a fancy way to say 'I can’t read this' at museums!.
• Headline: Swett -- Turner.. Impact: The engagement of K Swett marked the beginning of a trend where every couple felt the need to announce their engagement on social media, leading to an avalanche of cringe-worthy posts that haunt us to this day.. Fact: Did you know that the average engagement announcement is just a lead-up to the inevitable 'please buy us a gift' request? Classic!.
• Headline: GEO. TAYLOR TO WED; SON OF CONTROLLER; Engagement of Helene Rollins to Him Is Announced by Her Parents.. Impact: Geo. Taylor's engagement to Helene Rollins triggered a wave of bewildering family trees that historians are still trying to decode. If only there were apps for this kind of chaos!. Fact: Did you know that family trees are just like a game of Jenga? One wrong move and the whole thing comes crashing down!.
• Headline: King -- Von Schrader.. Impact: The engagement of C C King and his betrothed led to future generations believing that royal names automatically grant authority, which is why we have so many people naming their kids after Game of Thrones characters.. Fact: Did you know that in the world of engagement announcements, the more initials, the fancier you seem? C C King must be royalty… or just really into monograms!.