DECEMBER 28, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: C.C.N.Y. Chess Team Dominates Competition. Impact: This monumental chess victory led to a future where chess tournaments became the ultimate battleground for nerd supremacy, inspiring countless nerdy sitcoms and a whole generation of 'checkmate' memes.. Fact: The only thing more thrilling than chess matches is watching paint dry... but at least the paint doesn’t try to checkmate you..
• Headline: Carnegie Award for Sea Savior. Impact: The bravery of this rescuer sparked a trend of heroism that leads to increasingly absurd awards for mundane tasks, paving the way for future 'most heroic coffee runner' accolades.. Fact: This award is given for acts of bravery, which makes you wonder what the other nominees were doing—napping during a tsunami?.
• Headline: VAN SWERINGENS SUED FOR $3,200,000; Trustee of Missouri Pacific Seeks to Recover Funds in Terminal Deal.. Impact: This lawsuit set off a chain reaction of lawsuits in the railroad industry, eventually leading to the creation of a reality show called 'Lawyers on Rails.' Spoiler: it didn’t go far.. Fact: In the world of lawsuits, $3.2 million is just a warm-up. Wait until you see what happens when someone trips on a train platform!.
• Headline: LEHMAN TO ORDER NEW RACKET JURY; Executive Action Will Follow Conference With M'Cook on Procedure Today.. Impact: This decision to order a new jury led to a future where juries are so confused they actually start playing tennis instead of deliberating, resulting in a nationwide racket sport boom.. Fact: When it comes to juries, it's all fun and games until someone loses a trial... or a tennis match..
• Headline: ARTICHOKE BAN COMPLETE; City Officials Report No Sales of Forbidden Vegetable.. Impact: The artichoke ban led to a global underground artichoke market, complete with secret societies and artichoke smuggling rings. Who knew vegetables could be this scandalous?. Fact: In a shocking twist, the artichoke became the most sought-after vegetable in the black market. Who would have guessed the veggie was hiding such a wild side?.
• Headline: JUNIOR LEAGUE HOLDS BALL AT PITTSFIELD; The Annual Event Is Given at Hotel for the Benefit of Its Dental Clinic.. Impact: This charity ball inspired the future of fundraising events, leading to increasingly extravagant galas where people dress up to raise money for dental work—because nothing says 'I care' quite like a tuxedo and a toothpick.. Fact: The only thing more painful than a dental procedure is trying to dance in heels at a charity ball. Good luck with that!.
• Headline: Shepard -- Munro.. Impact: This engagement set off a series of romantic entanglements that would eventually lead to the creation of a soap opera that would last for decades—because who doesn’t love a good love triangle?. Fact: Engagements: the only thing that can turn a simple 'yes' into a multi-season drama..
• Headline: Blazing a New Trail.. Impact: This departure of the Lindbergh family led to a new era of celebrity parenting, where every celebrity's move is scrutinized and analyzed by the masses, eventually resulting in the rise of helicopter parenting.. Fact: Back then, 'blazing a trail' meant something completely different than it does today; now it’s just another way to say you’re lost in the woods..