DECEMBER 20, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Japan's Growing Tensions with Russia. Impact: If Japan had not ramped up tensions with Russia, perhaps the Cold War would have been a warm hug instead. Imagine world leaders exchanging friendship bracelets instead of nuclear threats!. Fact: Did you know that railway building is the original method for passive-aggressive territorial disputes? Nothing says 'I want your land' quite like a train track!.
• Headline: Three Freight Ships Sold in 1935. Impact: The sale of these freight ships inadvertently led to the world's first shipping reality show, where contestants had to navigate the high seas with nothing but their wits and a very questionable map.. Fact: Fun fact: 'D J Moran' is actually a stage name for a famous ship that never quite made it to the Grammy's—just like these freight ships to their next destination..
• Headline: Blind Senator Schall Injured in Hit-and-Run. Impact: Schall's unfortunate accident sparked a nationwide debate on road safety, ultimately leading to the invention of the 'Do Not Hit Blind Senators' bumper sticker.. Fact: Blind Senator Schall had previously advocated for better pedestrian safety, proving that irony can be a hit-and-run driver in its own right..
• Headline: MORE TIME FOR CLAIMS.; Wind-Up of Affairs of Continental Oil (Maine) Off to June 1.. Impact: The extension of the claims deadline led to a bizarre series of nationwide scavenger hunts as people searched for their old receipts, inadvertently creating the world's worst reality show: 'Who Wants to Prove They Went to the Store?'. Fact: Fun fact: Deadline extensions are basically the adult version of saying, 'You can just do it tomorrow!'.
• Headline: THREE IN DEBUTS AT METROPOLITAN; Charles Kullmann, Miss Helen Oelheim and Hubert Raidich Appear in 'Faust.' TOWNSFOLK CHEER TENOR New Haven Sends Delegation to Applaud His Successful Bow in Opera Here.. Impact: The successful opera debuts inspired a new trend where townsfolk began forming their own opera companies, leading to a series of neighborhood performances that were less 'Faust' and more 'What Have We Done?'. Fact: Did you know that singing in the shower is the most popular form of opera rehearsals? It’s where dreams of Broadway go to die!.
• Headline: State Tax Investigation.. Impact: The investigation into H C Hopson's taxes inadvertently inspired the first 'How to Hide Your Money' seminar, leading to an entire generation of accountants with questionable ethics.. Fact: Income tax returns have been known to cause more drama than a soap opera—someone should really write a series about it!.
• Headline: KIDNAP GANG OF 4 ACCUSED BY MILNE; DOUBT ON RANSOM; Youth Says He Accepted Offer to Go to His Grandfather, Who Thugs Said Was III. BLINDFOLDED IN SEDAN Federal Men Find Farmhouse Near Wrightstown, Pa., Where He Was Held Captive. NARCOTIC SYRINGE THERE Government Agents Believe No Money Was Paid but Police and Troopers Are Skeptical. WHERE CALEB MILNE 4TH WAS FOUND. KIDNAP GANG OF 4 ACCUSED BY MILNE. Impact: The kidnapping incident led to a surge in security measures, resulting in the world's first 'Kidnap Prevention' seminar, where attendees were taught how to look inconspicuous in a bright pink tutu.. Fact: Kidnapping is such an interesting topic that it has inspired more bad movies than any other crime—talk about a plot twist!.
• Headline: French Line Changes Pier.. Impact: The French Line changing its pier inadvertently resulted in the world's largest game of 'musical chairs' for cruise ships, causing a global crisis in maritime social etiquette.. Fact: Changing piers is basically the maritime equivalent of moving your house—except it floats, and your neighbors are seagulls!.