DECEMBER 16, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Major Reforms in City Government 1935. Impact: By halving the aldermanic board, the city inadvertently set off a chain reaction that led to the rise of micro-managing neighborhood associations. Today, your neighbor may just be a self-appointed 'Alderman' with a Twitter account and a questionable understanding of zoning laws.. Fact: Did you know that 'alderman' comes from Old English, meaning 'elder man'? I guess they were going for wisdom, but they ended up with a mix of 'who's got the loudest voice' instead..
• Headline: Support for Croton Airport Renewal. Impact: The push for Croton Airport transformed the Hudson River into a tourist hotspot, leading to a decade-long feud over whether any body of water should be a runway. Spoiler alert: it shouldn't.. Fact: Fun fact: Croton Point was once just a peaceful spot until someone thought, 'Why not ruin it with noise and pollution?' Welcome to progress!.
• Headline: Call for Unity Among Federal Regions. Impact: The call for unifying 108 regions foreshadowed the government’s eventual decision to combine everything into one mega-region, leading to the creation of the most confusing bureaucracy known to man. If you thought your tax forms were complicated before, just wait.. Fact: Did you know that 'unification' is just a fancy word for 'let's put more people in charge of telling you what to do'?.
• Headline: DEADLOCKS CHECK ALL ACCORD PLANS; Trend Toward a Greater War Seen in Failures of League and the Naval Parley.. Impact: The deadlock in international negotiations led to the infamous phrase 'let's agree to disagree,' which has since become a staple in both politics and family dinners.. Fact: Fun fact: the only thing worse than a deadlock in negotiations is the endless hours of diplomatic dinners that follow. Pass the breadsticks!.
• Headline: REICH RED LEADER IS HELD IN DANGER; Thaelmann's Attorney Says Communist Is Bearing Up Well in Nazi Prison.. Impact: The imprisonment of Thaelmann became a rallying cry for future activists, who took to the streets with signs that read, 'Free Thaelmann!' not knowing they were actually just helping to kickstart a trend of catchy protest slogans.. Fact: Did you know that being imprisoned for your beliefs has a long and distinguished history? Unfortunately, it’s a club with no membership benefits..
• Headline: Herriot Opposes Unjust Peace.; PEACE PLAN FACES A FIGHT AT GENEVA. Impact: Herriot's opposition to the peace plan inadvertently inspired generations of politicians to disagree on everything, paving the way for today's reality TV-style politics where shouting is the new negotiation.. Fact: Did you know that 'peace plan' is often just political code for 'this is going to take way longer than we thought'?.
• Headline: Motorcyclist Fatally Injured.. Impact: The unfortunate fate of the motorcyclist led to stricter traffic laws, which eventually resulted in the creation of those annoying safety videos you have to watch before you can ride your bike in the park.. Fact: Did you know that despite wearing helmets, motorcyclists still feel the need to show off their 'cool' factor? Safety first, right?.
• Headline: TRADE GAINS BRING A DROP IN SUICIDES; 'Rare' Similarity in Curves of Life and Business Failures in 3 Years Shown.. Impact: The correlation between trade gains and a drop in suicides inspired countless economists to pursue their career paths in the hopes of saving lives—now they just save spreadsheets.. Fact: Who knew that economics could be a lifesaver? Next time you’re drowning in debt, just remember: it’s all about the trade curves..
• Headline: Young Olvany Holds His Own.. Impact: Young Olvany's condition became a local legend, inspiring countless 'young hero' tales that would create a cottage industry of motivational posters featuring him staring heroically into the distance.. Fact: Did you know that 'holding your own' is often just a euphemism for 'still breathing'? Kudos to Young Olvany for apparently mastering that skill!.