DECEMBER 14, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Discovery II Outfits in Melbourne. Impact: The lack of a title for this article set a precedent for future journalists, leading to countless articles with clickbait headlines that make you question if the content is even relevant. Spoiler: it usually isn't.. Fact: Did you know that the most successful headlines often include words like 'shocking' or 'unbelievable'? Titles like 'Article 6' just don’t have the same pizzazz..
• Headline: British Peace Plan Sparks Outrage. Impact: This headline marks the moment when politicians realized that appeasing the public was as impossible as finding a unicorn. The ensuing debates spawned a new generation of politicians who learned to dodge questions like they were in a game of political dodgeball.. Fact: Did you know that politicians have been dodging accountability since time immemorial? It’s practically an Olympic sport at this point..
• Headline: FRENCH TEAM GUTS LEAD OF FOUR ACES; Brings Margin Down to 680 Points on Second Day of International Play.. Impact: This sports event led to an influx of international rivalries that ensured a future where people will passionately argue about teams as if they were family members. Sports fans have since honed their skills in both yelling and statistical analysis.. Fact: Fun fact: The French team probably celebrated their comeback, but let’s be honest—most of us just remember the ‘Four Aces’ as a bad poker hand..
• Headline: ANTHEM PLANNERS MEET.; Tell Mayor They Will Draw Rules Soon for $2,000 Contest.. Impact: This meeting initiated the bizarre tradition of contests for national anthems, marking the beginning of the ‘Who can write the best jingle?’ era in politics. Spoiler alert: it never really got better.. Fact: Did you know that national anthems have been rewritten more times than your average pop song? Just one more reason to keep ‘Born in the USA’ off the government’s playlist..
• Headline: Ohioan at Harvard Wins Wendell Dinner Award. Impact: This award not only propelled the winner into the limelight but also encouraged countless overachievers to chase awards that have names no one can remember, all while drowning in student debt.. Fact: Fun fact: Winning awards in college is like being the best-looking person at a family reunion—everybody notices, but it doesn’t always mean you’ll end up in the spotlight..
• Headline: Fire Destroys School in Jersey.. Impact: This tragic event highlights the precariousness of educational institutions, sparking discussions about safety and funding that continue to echo through time, reminding us that education is both valuable and vulnerable.. Fact: In the aftermath, many towns debated the importance of fire safety regulations, leading to the establishment of more stringent codes—because nothing says ‘we care about education’ like a fireproof building..
• Headline: INDOOR NET EVENTS COMBINED IN 1936; U.S. Men's and Women's Titles Will Be Decided in Same Tourney Here.. Impact: This decision paved the way for a more inclusive sporting culture, where men and women could finally compete in the same events, proving once and for all that competition is just as fierce, whether you're wearing shorts or a skirt.. Fact: Did you know that combining events was so revolutionary that athletes probably thought it might lead to world peace? Spoiler: it didn’t, but it made for some entertaining matches!.