DECEMBER 12, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Missionary Faces Tokyo Police Inquiry. Impact: This missionary's slight against Japanese prayers sparked a global debate on cultural sensitivity that led to an international conference on how to not insult people while trying to save their souls—because who needs tact when you're on a holy mission?. Fact: Did you know that calling anything an 'anachronism' will definitely not win you any friends? It's like saying, 'Hey, your traditions are so last century!'.
• Headline: Mount Vernon Lifts Ban on 'Messiah'. Impact: After the ban on 'Messiah' was rescinded, a secret society of carolers was formed, leading to a worldwide resurgence in holiday spirit. Little did they know, this would ultimately cause a shortage of eggnog in 2020.. Fact: Did you know that bans on Christmas carols often lead to people singing them more loudly in defiance? It's like a holiday version of 'you can't tell me what to do!'.
• Headline: Tri-National Peace Plan Discussions. Impact: This article sparked a series of peace talks that would lead to the establishment of a 'World Peace Day', ironically celebrated every year with global arguments over where the best pizza comes from.. Fact: Did you know that peace plans often end up being more about who gets the last slice of pizza than actual peace? It's a real diplomatic dilemma..
• Headline: TOKYO PARITY PLAN HELD TO 3 POWERS; ' Common Limit' Would Apply to Japan, Britain and U.S., London Delegates Say.. Impact: The Tokyo Parity Plan discussions resulted in a never-ending cycle of diplomatic tea parties that would eventually lead to several international misunderstandings, including a famous incident where a handshake was interpreted as a declaration of war.. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic meetings often include more tea than actual agreements? It's like a high-stakes game of 'who can pour better.'.
• Headline: Emory -- Rothwell.. Impact: The engagement of E R Emory created a ripple effect through the social scene, leading to a dramatic increase in matchmaking services, many of which still operate on the outdated principle that 'love conquers all.'. Fact: Did you know that engagements are basically a public declaration of 'I found someone who tolerates my weirdness'? Love is grand!.
• Headline: BORAH ASTOUNDED AT ETHIOPIA PLAN; Senator Doubts Anglo-French Proposal Will Be Accepted by Small League Nations. GLAD WE'RE NOT MEMBER He Asserts Mussolini Will Be Most Powerful Figure in Europe if Move Is Carried Out.. Impact: Borah's comments on the Ethiopia plan led to a series of political maneuvers that would inadvertently create a new genre of political commentary: 'Political Satire,' which is still used today to hide the pain of watching politicians do what they do best.. Fact: Did you know that politicians often make the best comedians? Their punchlines are just disguised as policies!.
• Headline: Jewelry Sale Brings $29,025.. Impact: The jewelry sale not only enriched the seller but also inspired the world to consider a career in auctioneering, leading to a reality show called 'The Real Auctioneers of New York,' which was surprisingly popular.. Fact: Did you know that sometimes jewelry sales can lead to more drama than a soap opera? Just don’t forget to bid your heart out!.