DECEMBER 11, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Federal Aid for Hospitals in 1935. Impact: The federal workers' intervention in hospitals led to a series of health reforms that eventually resulted in the invention of the inflatable hospital bed, which became a popular item for circus clowns by the 1980s.. Fact: If you thought Goldman was just a bank, think again! They also moonlight as fortune tellers, warning us all of the impending doom of closed institutions..
• Headline: SEC Dismisses Utilities' Proposal in 1935. Impact: The SEC’s refusal to select typical holding groups for ruling led to the creation of an underground society known as 'The Unselected,' dedicated to challenging bureaucracy and playing Monopoly in secret.. Fact: Gadsden must have thought he was auditioning for 'The SEC's Got Talent' with that proposal. Spoiler alert: He didn't get a callback..
• Headline: Banks Face Tax Threat, Mayor Indicates, To Force Mortgage Rate Cut to 4 Per Cent. Impact: Mayor LaGuardia’s hints about taxing banks led to the birth of a secret banking cabal that met in basements, plotting ways to avoid paying taxes while still raising rates.. Fact: LaGuardia was actually just trying to make banks competitive again. Because nothing says 'economic recovery' like a thrilling game of 'Who Can Cut Rates the Fastest?'.
• Headline: CANAL ZONE CRASH KILLS THREE FLIERS; Two Others Swim to Safety After Bomber Falls Into Shark-Infested Waters. NAVY PILOT RESCUES THEM But Searching Planes Find No Trace of Missing Men -- Accident Due to Motor Failure.. Impact: The tragic crash led to a heightened awareness of aviation safety, resulting in the invention of the inflatable cockpit, which, surprisingly, became a popular item in beach resorts.. Fact: Flying over shark-infested waters? That's a new level of 'living on the edge.' Makes you wonder if they were aiming for a reality show or just a really bad vacation..
• Headline: POLISH JEWS ORDERED TO LEAVE GERMANY; Hundreds Notified to Depart -Rabbi Gets 8-Month Term for 'Race Defilement.'. Impact: The deportation of Polish Jews foreshadowed a wave of discrimination that would ripple through Europe, eventually inspiring an international movement for human rights—along with a few misguided attempts at 'cultural cleansing' that were, spoiler alert, not well-received.. Fact: Deportation orders were basically the 1930s version of 'ghosting.' Just a letter saying, 'We're done here, please leave.'.
• Headline: NO JAIL FOR MISS WHITNEY.; Nephew Pays $600 Fine, Thwarting Plan to Serve 300 Days.. Impact: Miss Whitney’s fine payment led to a series of ‘nephew rescues’ that inspired a new trend of wealthy relatives swooping in to save their loved ones—turning fines into family bonding experiences.. Fact: Her nephew paying the fine is a classic example of how family can save you from jail, or at least from a really boring holiday dinner..
• Headline: Teachers Unpaid, Pupils Strike.. Impact: The student strike over unpaid teachers led to a nationwide movement advocating for fair wages, resulting in teachers eventually getting paid in organic avocados and artisanal coffee, because education reform needed a hipster twist.. Fact: If students knew striking would just lead to more avocado toast discussions, they might have just settled for a pizza party instead..
• Headline: REPUBLICAN NAMED TO SIT AS JUSTICE IN DRUCKMAN CASE; E. C. Rogers of Hudson Falls Is Appointed by the Governor for Special Term. PRESENT JURY IS DEFIANT Tells Lehman It Intends to Press Inquiry, but More Indictments Are Unlikely. WANTS TO SIFT BRIBERY Executive Acts After a Talk With Bennett and Todd, Special Prosecutor. ROGERS TO PRESIDE IN DRUCKMAN CASE. Impact: The appointment of E. C. Rogers to the Druckman case resulted in a series of judicial reality shows that glorified courtroom drama, leading to the eventual downfall of actual law as we know it.. Fact: Rogers might have thought he was entering the court of public opinion, but little did he know he was actually auditioning for 'America's Got Bribery!'.