DECEMBER 1, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Controversy Surrounds National Anthem's Militarism. Impact: The backlash against 'The Star-Spangled Banner' led to a nationwide search for alternative anthems, resulting in the short-lived popularity of 'I Will Survive' as a patriotic anthem during the late '80s. Who knew disco could become a symbol of resilience?. Fact: Even the national anthem has its critics. Imagine if we had to sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' instead!.
• Headline: Ex-Dancer Receives Alimony Settlement. Impact: Beatrice Feinstein's victory in alimony sparked a domino effect of ex-spouses demanding higher payments, ultimately leading to the invention of the 'Divorce Negotiation' reality TV genre. Thanks, Beatrice!. Fact: Alimony: because sometimes love really does cost you an arm and a leg... and a weekly allowance..
• Headline: CONCERT FORM OPERA IN LONDON. Impact: The concert's success inspired a wave of cello-themed pop music that dominated the airwaves in the late '90s—who could forget the hit song 'Cello-Phantasy'?. Fact: In London, even the cellos are more cultured than most of us. They probably have tea and biscuits during rehearsals..
• Headline: PLANS JOB HELP FOR BOYS; Youth Administration Will Form Units in State to Aid Idle.. Impact: The formation of youth units to help the idle eventually led to the invention of 'adulting classes,' where millennials learn to fold laundry and cook beyond ramen.. Fact: Funny how helping boys find jobs now just means they need to learn to stop living in their parents' basements!.
• Headline: Audrey Wurdemann's New Book of Verse; THE SEVEN SINS. By Audrey Wurdemann. 59 pp. Illustrated. New York: Harper & Brothers. $2.. Impact: Wurdemann's book inspired countless poets to explore their 'inner sins,' resulting in a brief but intense surge of self-published books about eating too much ice cream and binge-watching TV.. Fact: The Seven Sins? More like the Seven Excuses for skipping the gym!.
• Headline: Voliva of Zion City Suffers Another Blow As Courts Take Away Control of Industries. Impact: Voliva losing control of Zion Industries led to a series of unfortunate events that ultimately resulted in a hilarious sitcom about the mismanagement of a cult's industrial empire. Ratings soared!. Fact: Sometimes, losing control is the best thing that can happen to an industry. Just ask any reality TV producer!.
• Headline: LIQUOR MEN WORRIED OVER PRICE OUTLOOK; Period of Unsettlement Predicted When Lower Tariff Becomes Effective on Jan. 1.. Impact: The liquor price paranoia led to the rise of home brewing and DIY distilleries, resulting in a generation of hipsters who think they're master brewers with their basement experiments.. Fact: If only liquor price worries could lead to improved cocktail recipes instead of just bad decisions!.
• Headline: War, Peace, Diplomacy and Sir Esme Howard; In "The Theatre of Life" the Former Ambassador Recalls The Earlier Years of His Varied Career THE THEATRE OF LIFE. By Esme Howard. 336 pp. Illustrated. Boston: Little, Brown & Co. $3.50.. Impact: Sir Esme Howard's memoirs inspired a wave of diplomats to write their own, leading to a dramatic increase in coffee table books that nobody actually reads but look great on display.. Fact: Diplomacy: where the biggest drama happens between coffee breaks!.
• Headline: WIDEN GARMENT RANGES.; New Price Lines Will Be Included in Offerings for Spring.. Impact: The widening of garment ranges led to the modern fashion industry's obsession with inclusivity, ultimately resulting in that one shirt you bought that looked great on the mannequin but terrible on you.. Fact: Fashion: the only industry where you can be both a trendsetter and a complete fashion disaster at the same time!.