NOVEMBER 28, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: FCC Orders Corporate Relations Review. Impact: This thorough examination of corporate ties eventually led to every single person having a smartphone glued to their hand – because nothing says 'freedom' like being monitored by the very companies you just checked up on.. Fact: Did you know that the FCC’s idea of a 'check-up' is basically just a corporate version of your mom asking if you've cleaned your room?.
• Headline: New WPA Funding for State Projects. Impact: The approval of these funds not only helped create jobs but also sparked a nationwide trend of bureaucratic numbers being taken way too seriously, leading to the creation of countless spreadsheets that haunt office workers to this day.. Fact: Fun fact: The exact amount of $1,102,333.22 was actually chosen because it sounded like the number of times someone had to explain how to say it correctly!.
• Headline: Appointment of D O Lyle as Engineer. Impact: The appointment of D O Lyle as a valuation engineer set off a chain reaction leading to every engineer thereafter being asked to justify their existence with overly complicated titles and acronyms.. Fact: Did you know that 'valuation engineer' is actually just a fancy way of saying ‘someone who gets paid to look at trains and nod sagely’?.
• Headline: MAYOR LOSES CAR LICENSE; Fitchburg Executive Is Forbidden to Drive After Crash Injuring Five. Impact: This unfortunate incident not only grounded Mayor R E Greenwood but also inspired a whole generation of mayors to consider public transportation, which ultimately led to the rise of the 'Mayor's Bus'.. Fact: In a bizarre twist of fate, this event led to the creation of a new traffic law: 'Do not make mayors drive after they’ve had a rough day at the office.'.
• Headline: NYA AID TO BE SPEEDED.; McCloskey, Back From Parley, Plans Jobs for 5,000 Here.. Impact: The decision to speed up aid for job creation led to an unexpected boom in coffee consumption, as everyone suddenly needed caffeine to keep up with the pace of all the new jobs being created.. Fact: Did you know that the NYA was actually an acronym for 'New Young Adults'—because who else would need jobs faster than young adults with student loans?.
• Headline: POLICE TRAP TWO MEN SETTING FIRE TO SHOP; Nassau Officials, Working on Tip From Insurance Firm, Hold Pair on Arson Charges.. Impact: This incident not only caught the arsonists but also sparked a nationwide paranoia about insurance fraud, leading to more people watching their neighbors with suspiciously keen interest.. Fact: Fun fact: The insurance firm that tipped off the police probably considered themselves the real 'firefighters' of this story!.
• Headline: YOUNG ROCKNE STAR BACK.; Knute Jr., on Way to Notre Dame, Is Ace on Miami Cadet Team.. Impact: Little did they know that Knute Jr.'s success would create a ripple effect that would lead to every kid in America thinking they could be the next big football star, resulting in millions of broken dreams and plenty of sports injuries.. Fact: Did you know that 'Rockne' actually means 'future heartthrob' in the secret language of aspiring athletes?.
• Headline: ITALY ORDERS ARMY MOVES TO WARN EUROPE OF WAR; MAKALE RETREAT REPORTED; GRAVE FEARS IN EUROPE Troops Held Intended for Service in Libya or on French Border. MEETING IN GENEVA DEC. 5 Committee Is Expected to Vote Ban on Oil, Coal and Iron, but Delay Enforcement. PARIS SEES PERIL IN RUSH British Cabinet Will Study Next Move Tomorrow in Light of Developments in France. Troops on Move in Italy. ROME ARMY MOVES THREATEN EUROPE. Impact: This military mobilization not only escalated tensions in Europe but also spawned the world’s most awkward game of 'keep away' with oil and resources that would last for decades.. Fact: It's interesting to think that while Italy was busy moving troops, they were completely ignoring the fact that pasta was the real weapon of mass comfort..
• Headline: Italy Increases the Price of Gold 25%; Banks Here See 20% Lira Devaluation. Impact: This gold price hike created a frenzy among investors, leading to the invention of the phrase 'gold rush'—which ironically had nothing to do with actual gold mining but everything to do with panic selling.. Fact: It's said that the Bank of Italy decided on a 25% premium simply because they thought it sounded more impressive than a boring old 20%!.