NOVEMBER 19, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Havana Arms Raid Arrests Eight Individuals. Impact: The arrest of these eight individuals set off a chain reaction of distrust among arms dealers, leading to the invention of the world's first 'arms dealer escape room.' Who knew dodging bullets could be a team-building exercise?. Fact: Did you know that Havana was once a hotspot for arms deals? It’s like the Vegas of weaponry—what happens in Havana, stays in Havana... unless you get caught..
• Headline: Ex-Envoy Joins Fight in Ethiopia. Impact: As this ex-envoy headed off to Ethiopia, his journey inspired a series of 'ex-envoy' themed action movies that dominated a niche market for decades, culminating in a cult classic about diplomacy gone wild.. Fact: Fun fact: Fighting in Ethiopia was all the rage among ex-envoys. Apparently, international relations are much easier when you bring a sword to the table..
• Headline: Ford Price Reductions Under Trade Pact. Impact: The reduction of Ford prices led to a massive spike in Canadian road trips, resulting in a nationwide increase in maple syrup consumption and an alarming rise in 'moose crossing' signs.. Fact: Did you know that Canadians love their cars almost as much as they love apologizing? Cutting Ford prices just made it easier for them to say 'sorry' on the road!.
• Headline: Ciano's Plane Shot Down, Crew Unhurt, Is Report. Impact: This incident led to the creation of an exclusive club for pilots who survived plane shootdowns, complete with leather jackets and a secret handshake involving a lot of 'Whew, that was close!'. Fact: It's a miracle that the crew was unhurt. They probably had a collective agreement to only take up flying on days with less than 50% chance of being shot down..
• Headline: HITLER AND JAPAN WARNED BY SOVIET; Ordjonikidze Says the Russians Are Making Nation Invincible to Foreign Plotting.. Impact: This warning sparked a flurry of secret meetings among world leaders, leading to the invention of the 'Cold War' concept—basically a really long game of chess that nobody wanted to lose.. Fact: Did you know that while the Soviets were busy warning others, they were also perfecting the art of making really intense propaganda posters? Nothing says 'invincible' like a giant mustachioed man in a fur hat..
• Headline: W.P. BLAGDEN DIVORCED.; Decree Granted at Reno Against Member of Stock Exchange.. Impact: This divorce sent shockwaves through the stock exchange, leading to the creation of 'divorce stocks'—investors could buy shares in couples that were likely to split, making a fortune on heartbreak!. Fact: Reno: Where marriage goes to die and divorce is a spectator sport. W.P. Blagden probably thought stocks were volatile, but wait until he saw the marriage market!.
• Headline: Cuba Puts Ban Into Effect.. Impact: The ban led to a black market for Cuban goods that was more popular than a 1950s sock hop, paving the way for the rise of hipster baristas who claimed to import 'illegal' Cuban coffee.. Fact: Fun fact: When Cuba imposes a ban, it’s like telling hipsters they can’t have avocados. You just know they’ll find a way around it!.
• Headline: REICH TRIALS HINT UNREST IS GROWING; Treason Arrests Overtaking Those for Race, Church and Exchange Offenses.. Impact: The trials became a catalyst for future dissent movements, inspiring a new generation of activists who realized that protesting could be more effective than just sitting around with their thumbs up.. Fact: It’s fascinating how history repeats itself. Today, we call it 'cancel culture'—back then, it was just being tried for treason. Same drama, different era!.
• Headline: WORLD FAIR TO AID ARTS.; 'A Lasting Display of American Architecture' Is Planned.. Impact: The fair inspired a series of architectural competitions that led to the construction of some truly bizarre buildings, including a giant corn cob that still confuses tourists today.. Fact: Did you know that the last time they tried to showcase American architecture, they ended up with a giant googly-eyed building? Some things never change!.
• Headline: Yandell Elected by R.-K.-O.. Impact: Yandell's election triggered a series of events that ultimately led to the creation of the first 'Director's Cut' film festival, where everyone pretended to care about artistic vision while munching popcorn.. Fact: Being elected by R.-K.-O. is like being voted 'Most Likely to Succeed' by a group of film students; you might be successful, but everyone else is still just waiting for their big break!.