NOVEMBER 11, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Italian Forces Advance in East Africa. Impact: After this ambitious Italian drive, the world saw a sudden spike in poorly planned military campaigns. This, in turn, inspired countless future generals to think they could conquer nations faster than they could find a decent map. '130 miles? Pfft, I can do that in my sleep!' - said every overconfident strategist ever.. Fact: Fun fact: This was the beginning of Italy's famous 'drive-thru' military strategy – they didn't stop for directions even once!.
• Headline: Belgrade Span Inaugurated by Prince Paul. Impact: This bridge opening inadvertently led to the invention of the ‘Belgrade Span’ dance craze of the 1940s. If you've never done the Belgrade Shuffle, you haven't lived!. Fact: Prince Paul might have thought he was opening a bridge, but historians argue he was actually just trying to get to the other side of the river... to avoid traffic..
• Headline: Trade Prospects Amid Ethiopia Conflict. Impact: This 'slim gain' forecast encouraged future politicians to use vague language in their speeches. 'Ambiguous' became the go-to word for dodging accountability – a tactic still in heavy use today.. Fact: When asked about their plans, German officials simply said they were 'expecting slim gains', which is also how they describe their diets!.
• Headline: Two Swim Marks Bettered.. Impact: Kiefer's backstroke record inspired a generation of swimmers to think they could break records too, leading to an Olympic event for 'Best Dramatic Splash', which was never officially recognized.. Fact: Swimming used to be a great way to avoid doing chores. Now, thanks to Kiefer, it's a competitive sport! Thanks, buddy!.
• Headline: LEGION DISMISSES PENSION OPPONENT; E. M. Lewis, Legislative Officer Since 1921, Opposed Drive for Veterans' Widows. CLASHED WITH LOBBY HEAD Latter Supported by Commander Murphy -- William Barnes Gets Vacated Post.. Impact: This dismissal sparked a nationwide trend of 'pension opposition', leading to a plethora of lobbying groups dedicated to making sure no one ever gets a comfortable retirement. Because who wants to pay their veterans, right?. Fact: E. M. Lewis was just a guy who didn’t think widows should get pensions, which is a bit like arguing that ice cream should be banned because it might melt..
• Headline: FARMERS EVADING NAZI FIXED PRICES; Taking Advantage of Shortage, They Hold Back Produce for Far Higher Amounts. FOOD BOOTLEGGING IS RIFE Gifts for Peasant's Wife Now a Factor -- Farm 'Production Battle' Short on Results.. Impact: Farmers holding back produce created a ripple effect that transformed the black market for food. To this day, grocery shopping often feels like a treasure hunt where the prize is just edible.. Fact: Food bootlegging is basically just farmers saying, 'You think you can control me? Hold my beer!'.
• Headline: JANE COWL IN NEW PLAY.; Has Title Role in 'First Lady,' Kaufman-Dayton Work.. Impact: Jane Cowl's role in 'First Lady' inspired a series of plays that would eventually lead to the creation of reality TV shows where people fight for the title of 'First Spouse'.. Fact: The play was so popular that it nearly caused a national crisis – people couldn't decide if it was a drama or a comedy, much like actual politics..
• Headline: DR. GASS INSTALLED BY BISHOP MANNING; Instituted Rector of Church of the Incarnation at the Morning Service. SUCCESSOR TO DR. SILVER Sermon of Welcome Emphasizes Armistice Sunday With Its Implications of Peace.. Impact: Dr. Gass's installation as rector highlighted the importance of clergy in the community, leading to a chain reaction of church services where the sermons were more about politics than spirituality.. Fact: The only thing more inflated than the sermons on Armistice Sunday was the bishop's sense of how to actually deliver a welcoming message..
• Headline: BUTTER VICTOR IN WALK.; Captures 8-Mile Handicap Event -Time Honors to Fleischer.. Impact: Butter's victory in the 8-mile event set a precedent for food-based competitions, eventually leading to events like the Great Macaroni Race of 1950, where no one actually won.. Fact: The real winner of the race? The audience, who got to enjoy the show while munching on popcorn, which is the original 'snack for champions'..