NOVEMBER 10, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Farmers Retire Loans, Sign of Prosperity. Impact: The rising prosperity from loan repayments led to an unexpected boom in rural entrepreneurship, giving birth to the world's first organic kale smoothie bar in a small town, which later fueled the hipster movement and spurred a global avocado shortage. Fact: Farmers' loans were once the hottest topic at dinner parties—right before 'How to brew kombucha' became a thing.
• Headline: McGarrah Leads Hospital Aid Drive. Impact: McGarrah's efforts to support hospitals led to the creation of the 'Emergency Fund for Hospitals,' which was ironically misused to buy a giant inflatable banana for a fundraiser, ultimately becoming a viral sensation. Fact: In a world where bankers are saints, McGarrah might be the only one who still has a chance of actually being nominated for 'Best Supporting Role in a Hospital Drama.'.
• Headline: GHOST-TOWN GOLD. By William Colt MacDonald. 320 pp. New York: Covici-Friede. $2.. Impact: The fascination with ghost towns and their 'gold' inspired countless treasure hunters, leading to a spike in enthusiasm for reality shows that feature people digging holes in their backyards, hoping to find 'lost treasures'—mostly just old soda cans. Fact: Ghost towns were the original hipster hangouts; they just didn’t have Instagram to prove it.
• Headline: SHRUBS FOR LATE EFFECT; To Follow the Large Flowered Varieties Berry and Fruit Species Are Planted. Impact: The planting of specific shrubs led to an unexpected chain reaction in gardening trends, resulting in 'shrub-based' diets that, while not nutritious, did get a lot of likes on social media. Fact: Gardeners have been plotting shrub-related rebellions for years, but they just can’t seem to get their hedges in order.
• Headline: WINS PERSHING MEDAL.; Trenton C.M.T.C. Student to Receive Military Medal.. Impact: Receiving the Pershing Medal turned this student's life into a series of bizarre events, including a stint as the unofficial mascot for military-themed events, which eventually led to the creation of 'Military Medal Collectors Day,' celebrated by precisely three people. Fact: Winning military medals is like winning a game of Monopoly; everyone congratulates you, but deep down they all know you just landed on Boardwalk.
• Headline: GANGSTER BULLETS IMPERIL CHILDREN; 3 in Car Fire at Man in Street, Raking 17th St. Lot Where Youngsters Are at Play.. Impact: The gang-related incident led to stricter laws about children's playground safety, inadvertently resulting in the invention of 'bubble-wrapped playgrounds' that became the new trend—because nothing says 'fun' like a lack of risk. Fact: Gangster shootouts are the only thing that can make a playground seem like a setting for a horror movie.
• Headline: STEAMBOAT BILLY. By Sanford Tousey. With Illustration in Color and in Black and White by the Author. Unpaged New York: Doubleday, Doran & Co. $1.50.. Impact: Tousey's 'Steamboat Billy' became a cult classic, inspiring a subgenre of literature where all main characters have to be either steamboat captains or mysterious figures who live in trees, ultimately reshaping the narrative landscape for future generations. Fact: If 'Steamboat Billy' had a sequel, it would probably involve a steamboat race against a giant duck—because why not?.