NOVEMBER 1, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Navy Spending Sparks Controversy in Britain. Impact: This hefty naval expenditure kickstarted an arms race that eventually led to World War II. If only they had invested in a good board game instead, they'd have saved billions and avoided all that pesky war nonsense.. Fact: In the early 20th century, spending on naval forces was seen as a way to flex national muscles—kind of like today’s Twitter battles, but with more cannons..
• Headline: Harvard Assault Case Shakes Campus. Impact: This incident marked the beginning of a long-standing tradition of elite universities grappling with the 'bad behavior of privileged students,' which ultimately led to endless debates about accountability and the need for better janitorial services.. Fact: Harvard's janitors have faced far worse than just student assaults; they also have to deal with the existential dread of cleaning up after the world's smartest—who often act like they’re the world’s dumbest..
• Headline: ITALIANS IN MARCH ACROSS A DESERT; 15,000 Begin Trek Over Danakil -- Savage Tribesmen Cut Up Small Supply Force.. Impact: The Italian march across the Danakil Desert became a cautionary tale about overextending military resources, reminding future leaders that deserts are not just great for sunbathing, but terrible for logistics.. Fact: The Danakil Desert is one of the hottest places on Earth; the only thing more uncomfortable than marching through it is realizing you're leading an army that forgot to pack water..
• Headline: DECREES SWAMP FRENCH OFFICIALS; Bureaus Prepare the Record Avalanche of Legislation, Totaling 400 Laws.. Impact: The flood of legislation not only overwhelmed French officials but also set a precedent for bureaucratic red tape that persists today. Thanks to this, we now have laws regulating everything from how to park a bicycle to how many plants you can have in your apartment.. Fact: In France, paperwork is so overwhelming that it’s practically a national sport; they may not win gold medals, but they sure win at confusion..
• Headline: Texas Tax on Press Defeated.. Impact: Defeating this proposed tax on press advertising paved the way for sensational journalism to thrive. Who needs checks and balances when you have sensationalism, right?. Fact: Texas is famous for big things—big hats, big steaks, and now, thankfully, no big taxes on press, allowing tabloids to flourish like wildflowers after a rainstorm..
• Headline: MILLIONTH FORD CAR MADE IN TEN MONTHS; Henry Ford Makes Good on Prophecy Two Months Ahead of Time He Promised.. Impact: The production of the millionth Ford not only revolutionized the auto industry but also set the bar for corporate overachievers everywhere, creating a culture of unrealistic deadlines that persists today. Thanks a lot, Henry.. Fact: Henry Ford was so proud of this milestone, he probably should have received a trophy—one that read, 'Congratulations on making us all feel inadequate!'.
• Headline: SAYS HE LED ATTACK ON LIBERTY LEAGUE; Counsel for 'Support Roosevelt' Group in Boston Admits Asking Bar Aid.. Impact: This admission of attacking the Liberty League showcased the political divide of the era, foreshadowing the countless political debates to come, where name-calling is considered a legitimate argument.. Fact: Political attacks have evolved over the years, but at least in the past, they had the decency to admit when they were trying to take down the competition—now it’s all just subtle memes and passive-aggressive tweets..