OCTOBER 13, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Duel Over National Hymn Composition. Impact: The duel sparked a trend of 'musical showdowns', leading to reality TV singing competitions where contestants were voted off instead of shot. Imagine 'American Idol' with actual stakes!. Fact: Dueling over hymns was apparently a thing. Next time you hear a church choir, remember, they could have settled their disputes with a sword fight instead of a bake sale..
• Headline: War in the Modern World Release. Impact: This publication inspired countless students to write essays on war, creating a new genre that eventually led to the proliferation of 'War and Peace' knock-offs, ruining the reading experience for generations.. Fact: For just a dollar, you could learn all about war – or you could just watch the news. Decisions, decisions!.
• Headline: Boston Brokers Arrested in Treasure Hunt Scam. Impact: This event led to the rise of treasure hunting shows on TV, where people dig up their backyards only to find old soda cans instead of gold. Thanks, guys!. Fact: If you ever wanted to lose $38,000, apparently the best way to do it is to trust someone with a metal detector and a dream..
• Headline: Credit Men to Meet Here.. Impact: This meeting set the stage for the world's most boring convention, leading to the invention of the phrase 'I’d rather watch paint dry' as a compliment to their discussions.. Fact: When credit men get together, the excitement is palpable. No, really, check your pulse – you might be bored to death!.
• Headline: FARM RECEIPTS UP 9% IN YEAR FOR 8 MONTHS; Rose 4% in August, Lower Crop Yield Outweighed by 23% Gain in Livestock Products.. Impact: The livestock boom led to a national obsession with bacon that persists today. The ripple effect is so strong, we now have a holiday dedicated to it – thank you, pork producers!. Fact: Farm receipts going up means more bacon for you. So, next time you eat breakfast, remember – the swine are working hard for your happiness!.
• Headline: Columbia Institute to Open.. Impact: The opening of this institute led to the proliferation of educational establishments, resulting in an eventual arms race of degrees – because who doesn’t love student debt?. Fact: The Columbia Institute opened its doors to educate the masses, or as we call it now, 'How to be underqualified for a job you’ll never get.'.
• Headline: HOOVER STRATEGY FOR NOMINATION DEVISED BY AIDES; He Is Said to Accept Plan of Brown and Fess to Handpick Ohio Delegates for Him.. Impact: This plan led to a legacy of political maneuvering that continues to this day, where 'delegate selection' now sounds like a fancy way of saying 'who can bribe the best.'. Fact: Hoover’s aides were apparently the original political strategists, proving that behind every politician is a team of people trying to make sense of their nonsense..
• Headline: Crossed Loyalties; BLOOD RELATIONS: A Novel of Two Countries and Two Loyalties. By Philip Gibbs. New York: Doubleday, Doran & Co. $2.50.. Impact: This novel set the stage for future family dramas, inspiring countless soap operas where familial ties are tested and plot twists come courtesy of long-lost relatives.. Fact: Nothing says 'family bonding' quite like a good old-fashioned novel about crossed loyalties. At least it’s a less messy way to air your dirty laundry than a family reunion!.
• Headline: NDIAN BROTHER. By Hubert V. Coryell. With Illustrations by Henry C. Pitz. 348 pp. New York: Harcourt, Brace & CO. $2.. Impact: This book contributed to the growing awareness of Native American cultures, which led to a hipster revival of Native-inspired fashion – because nothing says 'I respect your culture' like a feather headdress at a music festival.. Fact: Hubert V. Coryell wrote about Indian culture long before it was cool. Today, you’d need a PhD just to get past the gatekeepers of cultural appreciation!.