OCTOBER 11, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Italians Advance for Water in Ethiopia. Impact: As Italians in the South fought for water, a butterfly flapped its wings in Italy, leading to an unexpected rise in pasta consumption. Today, water shortages are often blamed for Italians inventing spaghetti sauce recipes that require no water at all.. Fact: Did you know that when there's a water crisis, Italians somehow still manage to make the best pizza? Priorities, right?.
• Headline: Bronx Chamber Head Resigns Over Protest. Impact: The Bronx Chamber's resignation sparked a movement that ultimately led to the establishment of 'Protests for Protests' – because why not protest the act of protesting?. Fact: Did you know that short-sightedness is actually a medical condition? But in this case, it seems more like a political one!.
• Headline: SOVIET SEES REICH PROFITING BY WAR; Russians Believe Germans Are Taking Advantage of Situation to Extend Influence. FEAR BERLIN-FINNISH LINK They Also Cite Value of Danube Farm Products in Case of German War on Russia.. Impact: The Soviet paranoia about German expansion led to an arms race that ultimately gave rise to the concept of 'cold war yoga' – stretching tensions without breaking a sweat.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more twisted than geopolitics is the way people justify their yoga mats? Namaste, indeed!.
• Headline: ITALIANS PUSHING ADVANCE IN SOUTH; Gorahai Is Reported Taken and It and Two Other Posts Are Bombed, Many Dying.. Impact: The Italian advance in the South prompted a global shortage of spaghetti, causing chefs everywhere to start a secret underground pasta trade. Who knew war could lead to culinary innovation?. Fact: Did you know that 'Gorahai' sounds like a fancy dish at a high-end Italian restaurant? 'I'll have the Gorahai, please!'.
• Headline: DODGE SIFTS 'LEAK' IN RACKET INQUIRY; Begins Inquiry Into Charge That Confidential Data Are at Labor Headquarters.. Impact: The inquiry into labor files led to the invention of the phrase 'leak-proof' – which, ironically, is now used to describe both water bottles and government secrets.. Fact: Did you know that confidential data has a better chance of survival in a high school locker than in a labor headquarters?.
• Headline: Ethiopian Women Use Cosmetics. Impact: The rise in cosmetic use among Ethiopian women led to the first-ever beauty pageant themed 'Desert Oasis,' which ironically became the trendiest event in arid climates.. Fact: Did you know that some women can make eyeliner from cactus juice? Talk about a natural look!.
• Headline: London Court Refuses Loose-Leaf Evidence. Impact: The court ruling on loose-leaf evidence set the stage for the modern office supply industry. Fast forward, and we have staplers fighting for their lives against digital documents.. Fact: Did you know that loose-leaf evidence was once the enemy of organized filing? A true tragedy in the realm of office supplies!.
• Headline: REICH PRESS HAILS VICTORY IN MEMEL; 80% German Vote There Called Plebiscite That Should Bring Territory Back to Berlin. TERMS GIVEN TO LITHUANIA Press Demands Change in Memel Diet, End of Martial Law and a Righting of Wrongs.. Impact: The Reich press hailing victory in Memel inadvertently sparked a worldwide trend of 'Victory Parties' – because nothing says triumph like a party with questionable political motives!. Fact: Did you know that plebiscites are basically the world's most confusing popularity contests? The more you know!.