SEPTEMBER 17, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Vivian M. Dautel Engagement Announcement. Impact: This engagement set off a chain reaction of wedding planning disasters for years to come. The floral industry boomed, leading to a global shortage of peonies, which in turn caused a rise in the popularity of succulents in 2025.. Fact: Did you know that engagements are just elaborate ways to announce you’re now on a 24/7 wedding planning diet?.
• Headline: Record Democratic Convention in Binghamton. Impact: This convention inadvertently inspired a future generation of attendees who thought 'hot air' was a valid campaign strategy, forever changing political rhetoric.. Fact: Did you know that political conventions are just like family reunions, but with fewer dance-offs and more shouting?.
• Headline: FLYING SUITOR ENDS 7,000-MILE JOURNEY; Pombo Greeted by Sweetheart and Cheering Mexicans as He Arrives From Spain.. Impact: Pombo's epic journey convinced future romantics that long-distance relationships could be sustained with just a plane ticket and a lot of hope. Spoiler: they often can't.. Fact: Did you know that flying across the world for love is basically the 'extreme sport' of relationships?.
• Headline: BRITISH TO REPEAT STAND.; Will Send Paris Reminder That Geneva Statement Holds.. Impact: This diplomatic reminder sparked a realization that sending reminders is only effective if the receiver actually cares. Spoiler: they didn't.. Fact: Did you know that diplomatic reminders are just fancy ways of saying, 'Hey, remember that time we agreed on something? Yeah, we still mean it… kind of.'.
• Headline: FIGHT ON TAX PLANS TOLD.; Life Underwriters Hear Also of Steps to Unify State Codes.. Impact: This squabble over tax plans led to an eternal cycle of tax season panic, inspiring countless memes and a thriving market for coffee and anxiety medication.. Fact: Fun fact: Tax plans are the adult version of 'Who ate my lunch?' but with more spreadsheets and fewer snacks..
• Headline: 3 MORE ALBANIANS TO DIE.; 47 Now Doomed for Participating in Revolt at Fleri.. Impact: This tragic event underscored the brutal realities of rebellion and oppression, leading to future uprisings that would shape national identities and instigate global conversations about freedom.. Fact: It's a heavy burden to bear, but revolutions often start with the brave few who dare to defy the odds..