AUGUST 28, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Class K Proposed for America's Cup. Impact: When C R Fairey decided to challenge with a lighter Class K boat, it sparked a revolution in yacht design. Little did they know that this decision would eventually lead to the creation of the world's most impractical yacht, which would be used exclusively for Instagram selfies.. Fact: Did you know that the America's Cup has become less about sailing and more about who can hire the best PR firm? Who knew yacht racing could be so... glamorous?.
• Headline: Auto Union Blocks A.F. of L. Candidate. Impact: By rejecting A.F. of L. candidate F J Dillon, the Auto Union unknowingly set off a series of events that would lead to the modern labor movement. Spoiler alert: it involved a lot of donuts and coffee breaks.. Fact: Fun fact: Auto Union meetings are apparently the place to be if you want to ignore pleas and promote chaos. Sounds like a typical Friday night, right?.
• Headline: Article 9 Complaint Filed in 1935. Impact: The complaint filed in Washington D.C. over Article 9 would eventually lead to countless bureaucratic nightmares, proving that paperwork could take down empires one form at a time.. Fact: Did you know that Article 9 is actually just a fancy way of saying, 'We need to talk about our feelings... in a very formal way'?.
• Headline: YANKEE LEADS HOME FIVE BRITISH YACHTS; Lambert Sails Boat to Victory Over Velsheda and Endeavour in Torbay Regatta.. Impact: Yankee's victory over five British yachts triggered a national debate over whether Americans could actually win at something that didn't involve fast food. It set the stage for the eventual rise of competitive hot dog eating.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more competitive than yacht racing is a family BBQ? At least at the BBQ, no one gets seasick!.
• Headline: BOOKS OF THE TIMES. Impact: The release of Ishimoto's book, 'Facing Two Ways,' would go on to inspire countless existential crises among readers, leading to a boom in self-help seminars and overpriced therapy.. Fact: Fun fact: Ishimoto's title could easily be the tagline for any millennial trying to find a job in 2023. Facing two ways, and still not going anywhere!.
• Headline: DISMISSED TEACHERS TO SEE JOHNSON TODAY; 85 Charged With 'Deserting' Pupils Seek Reinstatement to Play School Jobs.. Impact: The appeal of dismissed teachers to General Johnson for reinstatement marked the beginning of the 'teacher's pet' phenomenon, leading to countless future students buttering up educators with apples and charm.. Fact: Did you know: Every time a teacher gets reinstated, a student somewhere gets a shiny new sticker? Coincidence? I think not!.
• Headline: HURT IN FIRE ESCAPE FALL.; Stagehand at Hippodrome Drops 30 Feet to Annex Roof.. Impact: The unfortunate fall of Darcy, C from the fire escape served as a reminder that workplace safety regulations exist for a reason. This single event led to a surge in HR trainings and awkward safety meetings.. Fact: Fun fact: The Hippodrome now has a 'no fire escape' policy, which is probably for the best. Safety first, folks!.
• Headline: Judges Award Places in Sears Cup Race as Fleet Fails to Finish in Time; SAILING LEAD GOES TO VINEYARD HAVEN. Impact: Judges awarding places in the Sears Cup Race despite a fleet failing to finish in time led to the creation of the 'Participation Trophy' movement, forever changing the way we celebrate mediocrity.. Fact: Did you know that if you show up to a race and don’t finish, you still have a 50% chance of getting recognized? Welcome to the new age of sports!.