AUGUST 15, 1935

Full News Archive

• Headline: Tragic Suicide Attempt at Fort Clayton. Impact: This tragic event led to a series of military mental health reforms that ultimately resulted in the invention of the 'Stress Ball'—who knew squeezing a rubber object could prevent a breakdown?. Fact: Did you know that the military has had a long history of dealing with mental health issues? But hey, that's not nearly as interesting as a headline about a 'suicide post.'.
• Headline: Maritime Wedding of M. Loeb and J.B. Saltzman. Impact: This marriage at sea led to a boom in maritime-themed weddings, which eventually resulted in the creation of the 'Love Boat' reality show—because nothing says romance like being trapped on a vessel with strangers.. Fact: Did you know that marrying on a ship means you can technically say you went on a 'cruise' for your honeymoon? Just don’t forget to pack your life jackets!.
• Headline: Article 5 -- No Title. Impact: By being honored with the French Legion of Honor, this individual unknowingly inspired future generations to create award ceremonies for everything—yes, even for showing up to work on time.. Fact: They say that in France, the award ceremony is a big deal. But honestly, if you’re not getting a croissant with your honor, is it even worth it?.
• Headline: LIQUOR IN BOTTLES.; Dealer Believes Public Is Better Protected Under This Method.. Impact: The decision to bottle liquor instead of selling it in bulk led to the rise of the modern bar scene, where patrons pay $15 for a cocktail that tastes suspiciously like regret.. Fact: Did you know that the invention of bottled liquor made it possible for people to drown their sorrows in style? Cheers to that!.
• Headline: PRESIDENTIAL BOOM IS BEGUN FOR KNOX; Governor Bridges and George H. Moses Urge New Hampshire Republican Support.. Impact: This early push for Knox's candidacy sparked a fierce rivalry that would eventually lead to 'presidential boom' becoming a euphemism for political desperation in the years to come.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'presidential boom' is often used to describe when a candidate's campaign is less about vision and more about who can shout the loudest?.
• Headline: BRITISH WILL CITE 1906 PACT TO ITALY; Feel Ban on Interference in Ethiopia Without Consent of Signatories Is Pertinent.. Impact: The invocation of a century-old pact might have inspired future diplomats to dig up even older treaties, proving that sometimes history really does repeat itself—like an annoying song on the radio.. Fact: Did you know that international treaties are often like old family recipes? They get passed down but rarely followed correctly!.
• Headline: LANGUAGE STUDIES PRESSED IN RUSSIA; Knowledge of Foreign Tongues Seen as Big Aid to Army in Event of War.. Impact: This push for language education in Russia unwittingly led to future soldiers being able to order food in multiple languages—because nothing says 'victory' like knowing how to ask for a sandwich.. Fact: Did you know that knowing multiple languages can actually save your life? Just ask any tourist lost in a foreign country!.
• Headline: ARMORIES SEEKING MORE FUNDS IN 1936; Military and Naval Forces Also Want Small Increases in Next Year's Budget.. Impact: This quest for more funds set off a chain reaction of military budget increases that eventually led to the creation of elaborate military parades—because who doesn’t love a good show of power?. Fact: Did you know that military parades are often more about spectacle than strategy? It's like a high school pep rally, but with tanks!.